All in the family — An interview with Tom Smothers

All in the family

An interview with Tom Smothers

February 24, 2005

In 1959 Tom and Dick Smothers began as a singing duo before evolving into one of the most enduring comedic teams of all time. “Mom always liked you best” was Tom’s most often repeated charge in the long-running, put-on feud with brother Dick. Their first national television appearance was on Jack Paar’s show in 1961. In 1967, CBS decided to give the Smothers Brothers a shot at the “kamikaze hour,” the 9 p.m. time slot opposite NBC’s “Bonanza.” Nine shows had gone down in flames attempting to break “Bonanza’s” seemingly insurmountable hold on television ratings. CBS hoped that “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” would appeal to a younger audience, but Tom and Dick assumed that they would fail as others had. According to Maureen Muldaur’s documentary Smothered: The Censorship Struggles of the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, the team had nothing to lose, but the brothers hoped to get at least half a season out of the deal and then “go fishing in Mexico” the rest of the year.

If Tom Smothers was going down, he was going down throwing his best punches. He demanded that the network give him complete creative control. The result was an hour of political satire that caught network executives and the nation off-guard. The reactionary youth movement of the 1960s had been defined by hippies, Black Panthers, and other insurgent characters, so no one expected a pair of short-haired, clean-shaven brothers to take on the Vietnam War, racial integration, and other social issues of the day. The show reached number one in the ratings as CBS observed with horror the subversive monster it had unleashed. Frank Stanton, the president of the network, often watched the program with President Lyndon Johnson at the White House, which resulted in Monday morning messages to Tom and Dick to tone down the controversy. By the second season, CBS was censoring the show and eventually canceled it halfway through the third year because a script was supposedly turned in too late to be reviewed. The brothers later won a $30-million lawsuit against CBS for breach of contract.

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The Smothers Brothers: Tom and Dick. (click for larger version)

In 1988, CBS invited the brothers to do a “Comedy Hour” reunion. The network requested that the pair be as cutting edge and controversial as they had been two decades earlier, but Tom and Dick refused to comply. They decided to stick to just being funny. The Smothers Brothers will appear with the Alabama Symphony on Thursday, March 3 at the BJCC Concert Hall. Tom Smothers even promised to perform his astonishing yo-yo tricks.

No one expected a pair of short-haired, clean-shaven brothers to take on the Vietnam War, racial integration, and other social issues of the day. When “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” reached number one in the ratings as CBS observed with horror the subversive monster it had unleashed.

B&W: I’m having trouble picturing the Smothers Brothers performing with a symphony.


Tom Smothers:
We do about eight or 10 symphonies a year, and we think they are the most fun of all the jobs we do. We do about 75 to 100 dates a year.

B&W: What makes the symphony dates so much fun?

Smothers: There’s something about the formality of a symphony. For a comedian, the easiest place to get a laugh without any effort is a schoolroom, courtroom, or a symphony hall (laughs). There’s something formal about it, and comedy kind of breaks that little formality. We always put monitors in back so that they [symphony members] can hear the dialogue and stuff—and I always turn around and look, and they are always laughing. They have the best time. It’s like having an audience behind us and an audience in front of us.


B&W:
Are you and Dick the longest-running comedy team?

Smothers: We are the longest-lived comedy team in history. That form is very difficult to do. The kids today all do stand-up, you know . . . Being in a comedy team is like a marriage. It’s very complicated, and that’s why they don’t last very long, ’cause you get in each other’s face (laughs). Dicky and I had couples’ counseling about six years ago. Eighteen hours of these people. It cleared up a lot of stuff. [The therapist] said, “Stop treating each other like brothers and grow up, and treat each other like professionals.” Someone asked, “How do you guys get along?” Dicky said, “Well. It’s like an old marriage. A lot of fighting and no sex.”

B&W: I used to feel sorry for Dick because you were the one getting all the laughs. Did he ever want to be the funny guy?

Smothers: We’ve tried it before, but he’s very comfortable with being the straight man. In the early days, I got more attention than he did. The comic always did. It was 1978 or ’79, and we were watching Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, and Martin and Lewis, and I realized the straight man does most of the talking. Bud Abbott is doing all the talking, and that’s where the balance came in. If the audience believes the straight man, they’ll believe the comic. In the early days of vaudeville, the straight man was paid more money because it was a skilled position. It was the most difficult one, because a good straight man can bring people out of the audience and up on the stage and get laughs off of them. So Dicky and I understand that now, so there’s no problem with who recognizes his place. He’s basically keeps the tempo; he’s the rhythm section for the comedy. And he’s really good. Dicky ranks up there with Bud Abbott and Dean Martin and Dan Rowan and George Burns. He’s really that good.


B&W:
Were you two ever tempted to work as a more raunchy act?

Smothers: Never. We started in the era of working clean, so it was very easy to keep it going. And now it’s darn near a point of difference—there’s not that many comedians that work clean. We get the same laughs but even better, and don’t have to use the F-word. Offstage, when I’m not working, sometimes I say, “What the f**k’s going on here? Give me the f**king hammer. Who f**ked this up?” Because that’s the way I talk when I’ve had a couple of drinks. My wife goes, “Ooohhh.” I’ve got a nine-year old and an 11-year old. Occasionally I’ll let out a word. I’ve got a swear jar. It’s got about 150 bucks in it now.

We started in 1959, we were fired in 1969, so we had 10 years of unparalleled success. Everything we did was ripe. And then in the ’70s, we could hardly get a job after that. We were untouchable.


B&W:
“The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” had an impressive list of writers (Mason Williams, Steve Martin, Rob Reiner, Bob Einstein, among others). I only knew Mason Williams for writing and performing the song “Classical Gas.”

Smothers: We [introduced] that song on the air. He’s also the one who wrote the Smothers Brothers theme. He was a major moral compass for me. We were roommates at the time we started the show. We were both single and we’ve got a television show, and Mason would read the script and he’d say, “That’s bullshit.” Then I’d go to the meeting and pretend it was all my idea. I’d go, “This doesn’t seem to work.” The whole thing was that we were trying to make some comedy that was at least relevant or had some factual background or something of interest or educational or something, so we tried to insert that kind of stuff into the “Comedy Hour.” Bob Einstein [comedian Albert Brooks' older brother, who is better known as comedic stuntman of sorts, Super Dave] was 21, Rob Reiner was 21. We had all these young writers. Dicky was 29, I was 30 during that time. It was a fun time; it made an impression. We started in 1959, we were fired in 1969, so we had 10 years of unparalleled success. Everything we did was ripe. And then in the ’70s, we called [those years] the dark ages (laughs). We could hardly get a job after that. We were untouchable. Very little eye contact in Hollywood. So we all moved away, and Dicky started a winery up in Sonoma, in northern California. He started racing cars and I did some theater. Then we started doing dinner theater, and then we ended up doing a Broadway show for about two years. And then we started working again in 1980 as The Smothers Brothers. It was like starting from scratch, but there was a residual respect that we got from that firing. We never wore out our welcome because we were on for so short a time. Then the winery started happening, so we’re in the food section (laughs). Then when we went to court with CBS, we were in the legal section. Then we would occasionally get another television show, so it was a pretty good career.


B&W:
The show had an unusual mix of music. You’d have the Jefferson Airplane one week and Kate Smith the next.

Smothers: (Laughs) We had a rare opportunity to have one foot in the past. So we got the Jimmy Durantes and the Kate Smiths and Betty Davis. So we always had those rock groups and contemporary groups and classic old traditional stars, which was a great combination. We loved that. Music was our first thing. Dicky and I started off as musicians first, and the comedy just slowly edged its way in. And then when the Kingston Trio started working, folk music started happening. And I said, “Oh boy, this is really good stuff. Good stories.” So that’s when the comedy started happening, and Dicky started talking a little more and a little more, and pretty soon there was the comedy team.


B&W:
Were you as shocked as everyone else when The Who played the “Comedy Hour” and Keith Moon got blown off his drum kit at the end of “My Generation”?

Smothers: (Laughing) It was a surprise to everybody. The union guy put the charge in, then Keith Moon went and put another charge in, and the first charge hadn’t gone off. There were three charges in that thing. So when that went off, man . . . Peter Townshend still can’t hear (laughs).

B&W: Was it prearranged when Townshend smashed your acoustic guitar?


Smothers:
Yeah, I knew he was going to do that. We bought a much less expensive guitar that looked like mine. His ears were ringing, and I was looking around to see if anybody was injured. He staggered over to me because he knew he was supposed to take my guitar (laughs). And it looks so real because I was distracted, I was so concerned. When it first happened, I thought Moon’s drum had exploded, but now I look back and it didn’t. There were limiters on the microphones or else it would have blown out all the mics and everything.”


B&W:
The current FCC crackdown is focused on profanity, exposed breasts, and other things of a suggestive nature more so than the political comedy that got you and Dick fired by CBS. Do you see any parallels at all?

Smothers: During the time that we were on in 1968 and ’69, there was a Senator Pastori, who was a raving, crazy man about the terrible stuff that was going on in television back then (laughs). So when we were on, we couldn’t say the words “sex education,” we couldn’t use the word “pregnant.” All the censorship was set up, basically, to protect the people from bad words and sexual innuendos. We didn’t do that. We were talking politics. So on April 4, 1969, we were fired from our show. We were fired for our viewpoints on Vietnam. People would come up to us before this last FCC and Janet Jackson stuff happened, and ask, ‘Don’t you wish you were on television, because now you can say anything you want?’ There’s that illusion that sexual content and violence and scatological talk is freedom. But there was nothing being said except sophomoric focus on the crotch. People would say, ‘We’re free, we’re free!’ and I would say, ‘No, no. Political criticism and satire since that time has been relegated to the fringes of television, which is cable, “Saturday Night Live,” at 11 o’clock where the viewing audience is way, way down and [the show] doesn’t create a big issue.’ So things have gone backwards, I think . . . The thing that offends me the most is that Howard Stern has become the poster boy for First Amendment rights. What a crock. Of all the people to pick, a guy that just talks about lesbians and tits and ass and stuff, and that’s the free speech thing? What a contradiction of values (laughs). I was at one time a poster boy for First Amendment rights. I was chosen. I didn’t volunteer.

B&W: Were you and Dick constantly getting pressure from CBS to tone down the controversy on the show?

Smothers: Oh, yeah. It was constant. I didn’t even know I was saying anything important until they said, “You better stop.” It’s amazing. It’s been over 35 years since that show was on the air. It was only on for two and a half seasons, but it made a pretty big impression. Because it’s still a point of conversation. I look back on these old shows and I kind of cringe a little bit. We did some shows in ’88 and ’89 for CBS where we introduced the Yo-Yo Man and stuff, and that was some of the best work that Dicky and I have ever done, next to our albums. The performances on the original show were not up to snuff, because I was so busy producing and worrying about other stuff. Everything except Dicky and I.

B&W: What was the final straw that made CBS cancel the show?

Smothers: David Steinberg did a sermonette . . . But it would have been something else. Nixon had just gotten elected and wasn’t going to listen to The Smothers Brothers criticize Vietnam policy (laughs). We became a threat (laughs) . . . The truth is what you persuade other people to believe. I’m so depressed. (Speaking in a weary voice). People aren’t thinking clear. But I’m kind of a liberal progressive, so I’m always on the other point of view, and I haven’t changed. I just turned 68 two days ago on Groundhog Day. There’s a Chinese proverb that says, “Old age is anyone 20 years older than you.”

B&W: I’ve seen photographs of Richard Nixon at the Grand Ole Opry playing with a yo-yo, and he looked like he was pretty good. Would the Yo-Yo Man philosophy apply to Nixon?

Smothers: (laughs) Well, yeah . . . The philosophy is basically a perserverence. And the yo-yo, if you miss it, you just get right back on and you keep practicing. Your failures are what head you toward success. Around the World [a yo-yo trick] is like you go out every day and do stuff, and sometimes we fail and we have to try it again and never quit. It’s got a nice philosophy to it. The Yo-Yo Man does not talk, and Dick is kind of the play-by-play announcer. So with the yo yo, I don’t make every trick every time the first time sometimes. Dicky will say, “Oh, the Yo-Yo Man is out of his groove. Come on, Yo-Yo Man, concentrate. Don’t give up. Tom has made a lot of mistakes; he’s learning a lot. He’s working on his doctorate (laughs).”

B&W: Did you and Dick make Nixon’s enemies list?

Smothers: No, we were his first success. It was after that he said, “Hey, let’s make a list.” The plumbers were setting us up with drug busts and all kinds of stuff. It was dirty. I didn’t know what hardball was. It was right after we were fired. We were also doing a movie; it was called Another Nice Mess. This was 1970, and it was a movie with Rich Little and a guy named Herb Bolen, and we dressed them up to look exactly like Nixon and Agnew. But they talked and acted like Laurel and Hardy, and Nixon was always looking at Agnew and going (imitates Oliver Hardy), “That’s another nice mess you’ve gotten us into.” So out of the midst of that, I had a friend who was a former Marine and later worked at the CIA who called me and said, “Tom, I met a guy down at the federal building who asked me, ‘Do you know Tommy Smothers?’” And my friend said, “Yeah.” The guy then said, “I thought I’d tell you that if he’s a friend of yours, there’s a drug bust being set up for him. Tell him to have someone with him at all times, have his car sent to the car wash everyday.” So I got the word, and I started looking up all my friends and let them know that they better clean up their act. So I’m supposed to be on a plane coming up to San Francisco where I was living with my grandfather at the time. I missed the flight. I was busy doing some editing. At about nine o’clock, he called and said, “There’s a bunch of guys here, federal and state narcotics people going through the house.” That was an exciting time of my life. I hid out for a week. I had smoked some grass, but my house was clean as a whistle because I was warned in advance.

B&W: Would you like to have another TV show to take on the conservative establishment these days?

Smothers: It’s not the conservative establishment; it’s a question of fairness and common sense. When you look at stuff and kind of criticize things that don’t make sense, it doesn’t matter what side it comes from—left or right. The problem is that we’re at the age now where we’re age-discriminated against. We’re a little too old. They have MTV for the kids. When are they going to get a network for the adults so we can have some interesting and smart stuff? Then we’d be on!

B&W: I read that you have a lot of respect for Ralph Nader. Did you take issue with him when liberals complained that he drew electoral votes away from Gore?

Smothers: No. I happen to have more than respect for him. He’s one of the rarest people in the world. He never compromised standing up for the little people. His whole thing is standing up for the consumer. Where everybody jumped on him for supposedly throwing the election to Bush, that’s all bullshit. People ask, “Why would you vote for Nader? He’s not going to win.” I say, “Well, when you vote for a Republican or a Democrat, one of them’s not going to win either.” You vote for what you believe in. You never hear him yell, you never hear him talk dirty, you never hear him get angry with people. He keeps this real calm demeanor, and he makes absolute sense. I haven’t voted for a Republican or Democrat in 18 years. Both those parties are so corrupt now. It’s a joke. I mean, they’re all bought and paid for by corporations.

B&W: What’s it going to take to break the stronghold the two parties have on American politics?

Smothers: It’s going to take a revolution (laughs). I think the biggest problem is that since the media has become so consolidated . . . I think we should make an amendment to the Constitution, the First Amendment—freedom of speech—we should add “freedom of hearing.” Some smart things are being said, but we don’t get to hear them. They don’t come out through the microphone. So this country remains ignorant. You have to really get out there and dig to find the truth. I’m still pissed off. But it’s not in our show. Our show’s pretty darned middle-of-the-road. It’s a family show, and we make a few social comments in there that aren’t pointed enough, but people get it.

B&W: Lots of people are referring to the war in Iraq as another Vietnam.

Smothers: Well, it is! It is. What was the Vietnam war about? Well, we’re going to stop the domino thing. And over in someone else’s country, fighting for the hearts and minds. And we’re going the same way. There’s no exit strategy. Rumsfeld and McNamara are the same people. And they look alike, too! It’s amazing how collective memory just went away. You saw it coming from a mile away . . . God, you know when the Dixie Chicks said that thing about Bush? They disappeared. No stations would play them. People are scared to death. You can see this totalitarian thing, militarism. If anybody questions anything, it’s treason. We’ve gotta keep our sense of humor, because last time I lost it for about two years. I was just a dreadfully dull dude (laughs). Finally, I saw Jane Fonda on television one time and she was just . . . eyes all crossed and angry. I was watching her and I said, “Oh man, I’m starting to look like that. I better stop that. Find the joke again (laughs).” &


The Set List — Alicia Keys/John Legend, The Smothers Brothers, and more

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February 24, 2005

Alicia Keys/John Legend

There’s little to add to the success story of Alicia Keyes and her collection of bowling pins that are better known as Grammys. Casual fans should still go see her in concert, because they’ll be very impressed by the power of songs that they mainly know through osmosis. Opener John Legend is also a major rising star, although people react a little too defensively when you file him under hip-hop. The critics like to pretend that Legend is a genuine R&B guy—but if that were the case, his album, Get Lifted, would pale in comparison to Terence Trent D’Arby. The years spent working with Kanye West have turned Legend into a hook-happy soulster with an identity of his own. That still leaves him sounding like a really inspired hip-hop artist, and everybody should just be grateful for that. (Wednesday, March 2, at BJCC Concert Hall, 8 p.m. $38-52) –J.R. Taylor

The Smothers Brothers

Once one of the most important musical acts of all time, The Smothers Brothers are now the most neglected act in the history of CD reissues. Their 1961 debut with At the Purple Onion and the next year’s The Two Sides of . . . remain an example of the greatest leap for a performing artist in the shortest distance, as Tom & Dick went from being weird folkies to one of the funniest—and most disciplined—teams of all time. Tommy’s role of the befuddled innocent was handled with a perfect sweetness that would become even more touching in the wake of stoner comedy. Meanwhile, Dick had to serve as both straight man and a parody of a sincere folkie.

They were already working with Pat Paulsen by then, too. The later albums tilted even more towards comedy, and they were polished showbiz professionals by the 1967 debut of “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.” Their battles with the censors overshadowed what was some brilliant mainstream work. Sadly, the brothers didn’t have Sonny Bono’s knack for goofing on changing times, and Tom & Dick were soon back on the nightclub circuit.

The ’80s were particularly unkind to the act, as Tom & Dick began to buy into some notion of themselves as important artists, and they undermined their own gentle chemistry. You were better off skipping the ’88 revival of their primetime show. They’ve never quite regained their early chemistry, but all political persuasions can still enjoy their live act. The occasional alleged insight is still comic relief. (Saturday, March 5, at BJCC Concert Hall, 8 p.m. $18-$85) –J.R. Taylor

Social Distortion/Backyard Babies

It’s been about 27 years now, and maybe five albums total, for Social Distortion. Remember when we used to think it was Mike Ness’ heroin addiction that caused the gaps between albums? That hasn’t been the problem since the mid ’80s, though. Judging from the discography, Ness is really just an unusually thoughtful songwriter who waits until he has something to say before going into the studio.

1996′s White Light, White Heat, White Trash should have been a huge hit, as Ness didn’t let the passing years keep him from examining his life from an unusually brutal perspective. Thoughtfulness was out of fashion, though, and two solo albums didn’t fare any better. Last year’s Sex, Love and Rock ‘n’ Roll responded by being a lightweight punk-rock expedition that’s still riddled with self-loathing and burdened by the search for redemption. Ness will be in big trouble if anyone ever figures out he’s the father of emo.

The Backyard Babies have only been around since ’87, and too much time was wasted when one member went off to pursue hipster stardom with The Hellacopters. Still, you can’t blame the guy. These Swedes were simply too uncool to be appreciated in the ’90s, but their glammy punk is sorta back in vogue, and they’re way overdue to get a big push for the American market. It probably won’t work out, but this is still a fairly memorable bill that you’ll be able to brag about seeing someday—at least, if you’re ever in Sweden. (Wednesday, March 9, at at Sloss Furnaces, 7 p.m.). –J.R. Taylor

The Vern Gosdin Show/Connie Smith

In 1960, Vern Gosdin and his brother left Alabama for California to play bluegrass with future Byrd and Flying Burrito Brother Chris Hillman. The Flying Burrito Brothers and The Byrds, along with Gram Parsons’ cowboy contributions, were the forerunners of country rock, and therefore Vern Gosdin can rightfully be cast as one of the genre’s godfathers. Gosdin later cemented that dignified position by contributing “Someone To Turn To” to the film Easy Rider. To put him in even more elite company, Gosdin is often placed on the holy pedestal of pure country vocalists along with George Jones and Merle Haggard.

Dolly Parton says there are only three female singers in the world: Connie Smith, Barbra Streisand, and Linda Ronstadt. Parton is out of her mind if she really believes this, but little blonde Connie Smith is even more delusional. According to her bio, Smith believes that classic country music is powerful because it has a strong commitment to “home, family, and living life.” She’s obviously has never paid close attention to George Jones, Hank Williams, or any other country music icons whose notions of “living life” are whiskey, sex, and threatening the wife with a shotgun. Nevertheless, Smith remains a legend. She had her first hit in 1964 with “Once a Day,” and her weepy ballads are the essence of genuine country and western music. The opportunity to see her and Vern Gosdin together at the Alabama Theatre is too good to pass up. (Friday, March 4, at Alabama Theatre, 7 p.m. $20-$35.) —Ed Reynolds

City Hall — Funding Travel to George W. Bush’s 2nd Inauguration

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February 24, 2005

On February 15, at the request of Councilor Bert Miller, the Birmingham City Council voted to pay the travel expenses of local businessman Richard Finley to attend President George W. Bush’s second inauguration in Washington, D.C. The council initially declined to act on the expenditure when Councilor Elias Hendricks demanded to know what the benefit was to the city. After he was located near the conclusion of the city council meeting, Finley addressed the council himself.

“I was invited by the President [Bush],” said Finley, who is chairman of the Alabama Republican Council, the oldest active black GOP organization in the state. “After talking with Councilor Miller about the opportunities to network while we were there, and to meet on some things that we are talking about, he decided that he wanted to participate in covering the expenses. My expenses were well over $3,000. He said he wanted to pick up part of it. So I said, ‘Well, OK, you take care of the travel [$742.50],’ and he did that.” Finley said he also had the opportunity to meet with Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, and offered to huddle individually with councilors to share the conversation. Finley added that he also spoke with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. “So, I think there were a lot of benefits for the city that came out of a lot of contacts,” he surmised.

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During a Tuesday press conference, Mayor Bernard Kincaid expressed misgivings about the city covering the expense. Kincaid added that the city council had already signed off on the payment from the council’s travel fund. The Mayor said that since the council had approved the expenditure, it didn’t make any sense to say no. “I had serious concerns about signing it,” said Kincaid, adding that he and Chief of Staff Al Herbert argued over whether the administrative side of City Hall should comply. “In my view, [the trip] had marginal utility [to the city],” said the Mayor. He did concede that there perhaps was a benefit to Finley’s attending. “It’s no secret that Richard Finley is a Republican,” said the Mayor. “It might be that his being there or his rubbing elbows with colleagues and things could benefit the city . . . In tight times you have to make choices. That would not have been a spending choice that I would have made.” Kincaid added that he would not approve someone from his staff attending a presidential inauguration at the city’s expense.

Councilor Carol Reynolds voted to approve the inaugural trip, but only because she had travel expenses to Savannah for the National League of Cities Leadership Training Institute on the same item. Had the two expenses been on separate items, she said she would not have voted to approve Finley’s trip. “I’ve got some questions to ask the Law Department about some of this stuff,” the concerned councilor added. Council President Lee Loder and Councilor Joel Montgomery both abstained.

Councilor Elias Hendricks voted against the presidential inauguration expense. In an interview two days after the council meeting, Hendricks said that he was not swayed to support the item after Finley’s explanation to the city council. “It’s not an effective use of public funds,” said the councilor. “But that’s [Bert Miller's] discretionary funds. It’s his call.” Hendricks added that the fact that Finley met with Clarence Thomas “didn’t help any.”

2005-02-24 tracking Features section Dead Folks 2005, Etcetera — A look back at the notable names and personalities who called it quits last year.

Dead Folks 2005, Etcetera

A look back at the notable names and personalities who called it quits last year.

February 24, 2005

Etcetera


Jorge Guinle

This once filthy-rich playboy bragged that he had slept with Jayne Mansfield, Lana Turner, Rita Hayworth, Jane Russell, Veronica Lake, and Kim Novak. Jorge Guinle dropped dead at age 88 at the Copacabana Palace Hotel in Rio De Janeiro after refusing surgery to remove an aneurism in his aorta. “The secret of living well is to die without a cent in your pocket,” Guinle once said, adding, “But I miscalculated, and the money ran out.” Indeed it did. Guinle, who was pals with Ronald Reagan, Errol Flynn, and Orson Welles, squandered his wealth and barely got by during his waning years on a government pension and help from friends. —E.R.

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Jorge Guinle (click for larger version)

Joyce Jillson

Famous for her nationally syndicated astrology column in newspapers across the country, Joyce Jillson (58) is best remembered as Nancy Reagan’s astrologer (as reported in a memoir by former Reagan chief of staff Donald Regan). Jillson insisted that it was she who advised Reagan campaign aides to choose George H.W. Bush as Reagan’s running mate in 1980 and claimed to have spent much time at the White House following the assassination attempt on the president in 1981. She was also the official astrologer for 20th Century Fox, advising the studio on the best opening days for films. Her resumé, however, went much deeper than astrology; Jillson played Jill Smith Rossi on the 1960s television series “Peyton Place.” —E.R.

Yang Huanyi

There once was a centuries-old rare script called Nushu that was used by women to communicate secretly with one another in the southern Hunan Provence of China. Yang Huanyi was believed to be the last woman to employ the Nushu code, known both as “witches’ script” and “the first language of women’s liberation.” In early Chinese history, the penalty for creating languages was death, but centuries later, after the invention of words was no longer deemed a capital crime, practitioners were still required to take an oath not to reveal the code to men. Common wedding gifts in Chinese history included booklets filled with Nushu writings that detailed deeply held anxieties by Chinese women that marriage was a tragic event. —E.R.

Joseph F. Cullman

As the chief spokesman for the tobacco industry, Joseph F. Cullman (92) led Philip Morris through the “cigarette wars” as the corporation battled Congress over legislation that forced warning labels on cigarette packs. He testified before Congress with a lit cigarette in his mouth and made the statement, “I do not believe that cigarettes are hazardous to one’s health,” on the program “Face the Nation.” When told that evidence suggested that smoking mothers give birth to smaller babies, Cullman replied, “Some women would prefer having smaller babies.” Cullman smoked almost his entire life, finally quitting a decade before his death. —E.R.

Frank Sanache

Frank Sanache (86) was the last of the eight “code talkers” employed by the U.S. during World War II to use their native tongue as code on walkie-talkies. Sanache was from the Meskwaki Indian tribe, one of 18 tribes that contributed to code talking, which was classified until 1968. He was captured while serving in North Africa and held prisoner for 28 months. —E.R.

Charles Sweeney

Pilot of the B-29 Superfortress known as Bockscar that dropped the atomic bomb on Nagasaki, forcing Japanese surrender, Charles Sweeney (84) returned to the city only weeks after he had decimated it. He said he felt neither pride nor remorse for what his duty had called him to do. The bomb dropped on Nagasaki was plutonium and was more powerful than the uranium bomb dropped on Hiroshima by the crew of the Enola Gay. —E.R.

Olive Osmond

Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jay, and Donny—not to mention Jimmy and Marie—were only part of the amazing clan spawned by Olive Osmond’s ovaries. Osmond (79) passed away with nine children, 55 grandchildren, 22 great-grandchildren, and lots of money. —J.R.T.

Pat Tillman

A millionaire professional football player with the Arizona Cardinals, Pat Tillman abandoned stardom to join the Army’s elite special forces to fight against terrorism in Afghanistan after the September 11 attacks on the United States. Tillman eschewed a $3.6 million contract for an $18,000 yearly military salary. He was killed in a firefight at age 27. Tragically, it was later reported by the Washington Post that Tillman had been killed by American troops who did not identify their targets as they shot their way out of an ambush. —E.R.

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Pat Tillman (click for larger version)

Harry Lampert

Harry Lampert (88) was the original illustrator who created DC Comics’ wing-footed superhero The Flash in 1940, two years after the appearance of Superman. With a lightning bolt emblazoned across the chest of his red uniform, The Flash’s winged shoes and helmet evoked the Greek god Hermes. Despite the Flash’s success, Lampert preferred to draw humorous material, which is perhaps why he was replaced as The Flash illustrator after only two issues. His gag cartoons appeared in Esquire and The Saturday Evening Post, among others. Lampert began his illustration career as a teen, inking Popeye and Betty Boop for famed illustrator Max Fleischer. Lampert later regretted not hanging onto his early Flash drawings after achieving recognition during a comics revival in the 1990s. A near-mint copy of Flash Comics No. 1 recently sold for $350,000. —E.R.

Syd Hoff

Many people probably spent decades thinking that Syd Hoff (91) was already dead. After all, plenty of generations have already been handed Danny and the Dinosaur as a classic children’s book. The writer and cartoonist was still living in Miami, though, and nobody heard about his death without going through a fit of nostalgia. —J.R.T.

Also Dead

Musician John Balance (42), founder of the band Coil and former member of 23 Skidoo, Psychic TV, Zos Kia, and Current 93; Buffalo Springfield bassist Bruce Palmer (58); Singer Laura Branigan (“Gloria”); Broadway composer Cy Coleman (75); Motown singer Syreeta Wright (58); reggae producer Clement ‘Sir Coxsone’ Dodd (72); rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard, aka Russell Jones (35); musician Kevin Coyne (60); Blues singer-guitarist Son Seals (62); Guitarist and violinist Claude (Fiddler) Williams (96); Former Pantera guitarist “Dimebag” Darrel Abbott (38); Gilbert Lani Kauhi (66), who played “Hawaii Five-0″‘s Detective Kono Kalakaua, the burly Hawaiian sidekick to the show’s star, Jack Lord; Character actor Victor Argo (69); Comedian and actor Dayton Allen (85), the voice of the characters on the “Deputy Dawg” cartoon show as well as those of mischievous cartoon crows Heckle and Jeckle; Norman Rose, the voice of Colombian coffee mascot Juan Valdez; Comedian Alan King (76); Stage actress and dancer Ann Miller (81); Actress Uta Hagen (84); New Zealand author Janet Frame (79), whose memoirs were the source material for Jane Campion’s film An Angel at My Table; Rape of Nanking author Iris Chang (36), suicide; Last Exit to Brooklyn author Hubert Selby, Jr., (75); philosopher and literary critic Jacques Derrida (74), sometimes called the “father of deconstruction; football player Reggie White; Leonidas da Silva (90), Brazil’s first superstar of professional soccer, credited with inventing the bicycle kick; Los Angeles Rams’ football player Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsch (80), known for his unique running style; fashion designers Geoffrey Beene (77) and Egon Von Furstenberg (57); photographers Henri Cartier-Bresson (95) and Francesco Scavullo (81); MAD magazine illustrator George Woodbridge (75); Drug store magnate Jack Eckerd (91).

Dead Folks 2005, Authors, Inventors, and Astronauts

Dead Folks 2005, Authors, Inventors, and Astronauts

A look back at the notable names and personalities who called it quits last year.

February 24, 2005

Authors

Susan Sontag

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Susan Sontag (click for larger version)

Once viewers catch on that Woody Allen’s 1983 comedy Zelig is a fake documentary about a man who never actually existed, the joke is in how extensively Allen creates a pastiche of the documentary form. The requisite pauses in the story for comments by observers, analysts, and sundry talking heads are the funniest part of Allen’s method, and the funniest talking head is Susan Sontag. That’s not because she has any funny lines. It’s because she doesn’t. So influential, profound, and brilliant are Sontag’s critical views on all matters cultural, that her very presence in the film signifies the ultimate commentary. The scene is equivalent to Gertrude Stein, Edmund Wilson, or Jean Paul Sartre making a cameo appearance in a Bob Hope comedy.

After entering college at age 16 and fairly blowing away everyone at Berkeley, University of Chicago, Harvard, and the Sorbonne, the groovy brunette with a bride-of-Frankenstein streak in her mane decided to share with the world her innumerable ideas about art and life (for her they were indistinguishable). An article published in Partisan Review in 1964 called “Notes on Camp” was, in literary circles, akin to The Rolling Stones appearing on “The Ed Sullivan Show,” or maybe even the premiere of Citizen Kane. With that essay, and subsequent “assaults” in The Atlantic Monthly, Granta, The New York Review of Books, and various other intellectually inclined periodicals, Sontag provided a brand new way of discussing significant ideas in Western culture and minor ideas in popular culture. The new Bob Dylan album, Godard’s latest film, William James, and Freud were all part of the same story—or critique. Each was crucial to understanding the human creative experience. Yet during her explosion onto the arts and literary scene of the 1960s, what was most exciting for the hipsters, bohemians, and New York intellectuals who embraced/feared her was that Sontag made feasible the notion that one could read everything and know everything that mattered. She simultaneously demonstrated that no one could do it better. In that context, it’s extremely revealing that Sontag once defined the term “polymath” as “a person who is interested in everything, and nothing else.”

The publication of Sontag’s collection of essays titled Against Interpretation (1968) was virtually tectonic in its impact. Here she argues that understanding any work of art starts from intuitive response and not from analysis or intellectual considerations. “A work of art is a thing in the world, not just text or commentary on the world.” Other important works such as On Photography and Illness as Metaphor brought challenging ideas about contemporary culture out of the academy and into popular discourse. Not on Johnny Carson’s show, of course, or in the daily newspapers, but Sontag did to some extent prop open the doors to formerly exclusive salons. That’s mainly because her lucid, confident writing style, which is reinforced by a devastating (and yet somehow celebratory) wealth of intellectual inquiry and research, remains free of academic jargon and postmodern tics.

Such a position as a cultural critic implies a certain amount of controversy, which Sontag always could generate with a few comments. The left-leaning, radical thinker might be famously wrong at times, but one feather in her cap was confronting her lefty pals and stating that “socialism is the human face of fascism.” She was also right about Sarajevo. But regarding her notorious claim that September 11 was the result of U.S. international policies and actions, well, remain on the far left long enough and you’re bound to self-destruct. —David Pelfrey

Daniel Boorstin

The Librarian of Congress from 1975 to 1987, Boorstin loved books and couldn’t understand why anyone else might not; he coined the term “aliterate” to describe those who could read but chose not to. During his tenure, appropriations for the Library of Congress rose from $116 million to more than double that figure, the vast holdings were opened to the public, and Boorstin established the Mary Pickford Theater to call attention to (and utilize) the library’s huge archive of motion pictures. He was the nation’s top cheerleader for libraries in general. Boorstin’s deepest interest was in history, although he was fond of pointing out that he was an amateur and not a professionally trained historian. That’s actually not worth pointing out, however, as he taught history at the University of Chicago for 25 years, held a post as director and senior historian at the Smithsonian Museum of History and Technology, and wrote a Pulitzer Prize-winning trilogy on American history and a subsequent four-volume history of the world. —D.P.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“Whoever has seen the horrifying appearance of the postwar European concentration camps would be similarly preoccupied.” That’s Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (78) speaking of her obssession with changing the treatment of dying patients. Kubler-Ross was greatly disturbed by what she witnessed in New York hospitals when she visited the U.S. in 1958. Her interest in death and her intensive study of the behavior of the terminally ill led to the publication of On Death and Dying in 1969. In less than a decade the book was a standard reference text for medical ethics and hospital policy. Her celebrated theory of the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) remains a valuable model of human behavior not only for patients, but also for loved ones, medical professionals, and caregivers. —D.P.

Olivia Goldsmith

The film version of The First Wives’ Club was a jaunty celebration of older women getting revenge on the thoughtless husbands who abandoned them for younger women. There were also plenty of jibes at cosmetic surgery, as also found in the source novel by Olivia Goldsmith (54). Too bad the author didn’t take her pro-aging stance more seriously. Instead, Goldsmith died from complications related to anesthesia during cosmetic surgery. —J.R.T.

Norris McWhirter

Along with twin brother Ross, Norris McWhirter (78) founded the Guinness Book of Records. Its first edition was printed in 1955, and among its earliest records was a Russian woman who gave birth to 16 sets of twins, seven sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets from 1725 to 1765. According to its own records, the Guinness Book of Records is the world’s best-selling copyrighted book, with more than 100 million sold. The McWhirter twins personally crammed 70 people into a compact car just to set a record. Ross was murdered in 1975 after posting a 50,000-pound reward for information leading to the arrest of Irish Republican Army terrorists. —E.R.

Inventors and Innovators

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Estee Lauder attracts a crowd (click for larger version)


Estee Lauder

Growing up in an apartment above her father’s hardware store in Queens, Josephine Esther Mentzer was a nice Jewish girl with an ambitious spirit and an intense fascination with the lotions and potions her chemist uncle prepared in a little shop. She liked them so much that in 1946 she began selling skin creams at beach resorts and hotels. The determined Esther expanded her product line and practically bullied her way onto some counter space at Saks Fifth Avenue two years later, by which time she and her husband Joseph Lauder had created a “nice little company.” The products were fine, but the sales program was outstanding: exquisitely attired staff, sophisticated sales patter, and, by the way, madam . . . here’s a free sample (a.k.a. “the gift”). By 1953 the company was a well-recognized force in the cosmetics industry.

Its success was due to Lauder’s making certain that those free gifts and samples found their way into the handbags of the hottest celebrities, the social elite, and the otherwise well-to-do. If that meant entertaining guests on a lavish scale (plenty of fine wine, fine cuisine, and cartons of free cosmetics), well, that was just part of the sales game; “If I believe in something, I sell it, and I sell it hard,” she was fond of saying. A more famous, and certainly more profit-generating, quote was “There are no ugly women.” It was that attitude, along with Lauder’s sheer force of will, that helped create a $10 billion enterprise with locations in 130 countries and a daunting product line that includes MAC, Aveda, Clinique, Aramis, and Prescriptives, the sum of which currently constitutes a stunning 45 percent share of the cosmetics business in the United States. Estee Lauder is the only woman on Time‘s list of the 20 most influential business figures of the 20th century. She was 97. —D.P.

Al Lapin, Jr.

In 1958, Lapin and his brother Jerry invested $25,000 and founded the International House of Pancakes. “Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity” was an early marketing slogan for ridiculously sweet fruit-topped pancakes and waffles drenched in blueberry, boysenberry, strawberry, or maple syrup. Lapin (76) later owned the Orange Julius chain. His first venture was Coffee Time, carts that delivered urns of hot coffee to offices. Attractive presentation was of utmost importance, both in his personal attire and restaurants. Among his favorite sayings were “People eat with their eyes before they eat with their hands,” and “You have to look like a dollar to borrow a dime.” —Ed Reynolds

Francis Crick

Everyone who ever suffered through sophomore biology classes in high school has sketched (or traced) in their lab notebook the double helix, that famous twisted ladder of deoxyribonucleic acid, more commonly known as DNA. Today the term has made a complete transition from scientific jargon to the popular lexicon. Disparaging remarks about the origin of someone’s DNA or gene pool are common, as are police investigations (in the real world or in television dramas) that rely on DNA evidence. The business of bio-engineering and gene therapy is a huge industry now. Half a century ago, however, the very structure of DNA was a great mystery.

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Francis Crick (click for larger version)

It certainly intrigued the British-born biologist Francis Crick (88) and his young American-born colleague James Watson, both of whom were grappling with this puzzle at the Cavendish Laboratory in Cambridge, England, during the early 1950s. The pair finally concluded with the double helix, although confirmation of their results did not come for years. Crick nonetheless announced to friends at the University that they had “discovered the secret to life.” His approach was more subtle when it came time to publish their results in Nature in 1953, yet one particular understatement may resonate for all time: “It has not escaped our notice that the specific pairing we have postulated immediately suggests a possible copying mechanism for the genetic material.” In 1962 Crick and Watson were awarded the Nobel Prize. —David Pelfrey

Sir Godfrey Hounsfield

In the 1960s, British electrical engineer Sir Godfrey Hounsfield created the computerized axial tomography scanner—the CAT scan. The CAT scan used X-rays to create three-dimensional images of the body’s interior, revolutionizing medical care. —E.R.

Dr. William Dobelle

William Dobelle (62) developed an experimental artificial vision system for the sight-impaired that involved transmission of electrical signals to electrodes implanted in the brain by way of a tiny camera attached to the user’s glasses. A portable computer receives images that are then sent to electrodes in the brain’s visual cortex. Four years before his death, his creation restored navigational vision to a blind volunteer. “I’ve always done artificial organs,” Dobelle told the New York Times. “I’ve spent my whole life in the spare-parts business.” —E.R.

Tom Hannon

The “father of the automated teller machine,” Tom Hannon pioneered the use of ATMs in locations other than banks. In the early 1990s he had machines in four Southern states. By the time he sold his U S. operation in 2002 to enter the British market, he had 2,500 machines in 40 states. —E.R.

Samuel M. Rubin

Popcorn was probably reasonably priced when Sam Rubin (85) began selling it in movie theaters during the Depression. He’d already built an empire with assorted New York City locations, but Sam changed the way we enjoy movies when he took his popcorn stands into theater chains such as RKO and Loews. His empire signaled the end of vending machines as the preferred mode of movie snacking. Rubin can also claim credit for inventing those oversized boxes of candy that sell for five times what you’d pay outside a movie theater. —J.R. Taylor

Red Adair

During the Gulf War in 1991, Iraqi troops retreating from Kuwait set fire to oil wells in the high-producing Ahmadi and Magwa fields, creating a potentially monumental economic and environmental disaster. All the task forces and experts, along with the team working for legendary oil well firefighter Paul “Red” Adair (89), agreed that extinguishing these mammoth fires would take three to five years. Thanks to the consultation, logistical support, and special equipment provided by Adair’s organization, the task was accomplished in nine months. This was a stunning feat, but observers familiar with Adair’s history were not really shocked. At the time, Adair already had more than 40 years of experience battling wild wells, blow outs, and other conflagrations in the deserts and on the high seas. (Adair’s amazing story is told in Hellfighters, starring John Wayne.)

Throughout the 1960s and ’70s, any time an oil rig exploded Adair’s team was called into action; the media coverage of these events justifiably portrayed Red Adair as an American hero. One of his more spectacular deeds involved the huge oil flame in the Sahara known as “The Devil’s Cigarette.” Today the highly specialized devices designed by Red Adair Service and Marine Company, Inc., are regarded as the Rolls Royces of firefighting equipment. —D.P.

Space is the Place

Gordon Cooper

One of the original seven Mercury astronauts, Gordon Cooper (77) was perhaps the most controversial for his belief that the U.S. government was keeping secrets about UFOs. In 1951, Cooper was part of a squadron scrambled into the air over Germany after metallic objects resembling saucers were spotted flying in formation. Cooper also maintained that he saw a UFO crash at Edwards Air Force Base in California. He filmed the incident, but the film was confiscated by government officials. While orbiting the earth in Gemini 5, Cooper infuriated federal authorities when he inadvertently photographed the top-secret Nevada military base known as Area 51 while shooting outer space photos as part of a Pentagon film experiment.

Cooper was the first American to remain in space for an entire day when he flew the last Mercury mission in 1963. Despite his controversial UFO fascination and associated conspiracy theories, he was the backup commander for the Apollo 10 mission that flew to within 50,000 feet of the moon. On his Mercury mission, the electrical system failed, and Cooper had to pilot the spacecraft manually back to earth to splashdown. Cooper’s belief in UFOs was so strong that he testified about them to the United Nations in 1978 in hope that the U.N. would become a repository for collecting UFO sightings. He also wrote a book urging the government to tell what it knew about UFOs. Most, however, probably remember Cooper through Dennis Quaid’s portrayal of the astronaut in The Right Stuff. —E.R.

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Gordon Cooper (click for larger version)

Maxime Faget

While scientists were designing rockets to launch astronauts into outer space, Maxime Faget’s job was to bring space travelers home in one piece. Designer of the Mercury space capsule, which ushered the U.S. into the age of manned space flight, Faget’s dilemma was to protect a spacecraft and its occupants from heat when re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. (Astronauts return at 17,000 miles per hour in a craft that reaches temperatures of 4,000 degrees Fahrenheit.) Earliest theories called for a needle-nosed spaceship to cut down on air resistance, but Faget (83) scoffed at such Buck Rogers notions and designed a blunt-bodied craft that entered blunt end first to deflect most of the heat away from the craft. —E.R.

Fred Whipple

Originator of the “dirty snowball” concept, comet expert Fred Whipple (97) introduced the idea in 1950 that comets were balls of ice. This broke from the popular notion that comets were wads of sand held together by gravity. Whipple recognized that a comet’s arrival at a particular destination in outer space did not follow the predictability of gravitational pull only. He instead theorized that as a comet approached the sun, sunlight vaporized ice in its nucleus. Jets of particles resulted, functioning as a rocket engine to speed up or slow down the comet. Close-up photos of Halley’s Comet in 1986 proved Whipple to be correct. Whipple was also responsible for coming up with the idea of cutting aluminum foil into thousands of pieces and releasing the fragments from Allied aircraft over Germany. The tiny bits of foil confused the enemy; it appeared that thousands of planes were attacking. Some speculate that this is where the phrase “foiled again” originated. —E.R.

William H. Pickering

Director of Jet Propulsion Laboratories in California from 1954 to 1976, Pickering (93) was in charge of the United States’ first robotic missions to the moon, Venus, and Mars. Three months after Russia put the first satellite, Sputnik, into orbit in 1957, America launched Explorer I, its first orbiting spacecraft. A New Zealand-born electrical engineer, Pickering was a central figure in the Ranger and Surveyor landings on the moon, precursors to the Apollo flights that landed men on the moon. Initially, the Army oversaw Jet Propulsion Lab activity, but turned it over to NASA after the Russians launched Sputnik. —E.R.

Dead Folks 2005, Politics and Sports

Dead Folks 2005, Politics and Sports

A look back at the notable names and personalities who called it quits last year.

 

February 24, 2005Politics/News

Pierre Salinger

 

As one of the lesser lights of John F. Kennedy’s Camelot, Pierre Salinger (79) worked hard to maintain his fame after serving as Presidential Press Secretary to JFK and Lyndon Johnson. He rushed the book A Tribute to John F. Kennedy into bookstores after the Kennedy assassination and would later be appointed as a Senator in 1964 after the death of a California incumbent. Then he was promptly voted out of office when he sought legitimate election, partly because he didn’t really live in California. After that, Salinger showed up as an attorney in an episode of “Batman,” and was a panelist on two episodes of “What’s My Line?” The former ABC news correspondent finally went away for good after making an ass out of himself in 1997. Salinger held plenty of news conferences proclaiming that he had absolute proof that the U.S. Navy had shot down TWA Flight 800, which had crashed with no survivors off of Long Island in 1996. It turned out Salinger had found all of his revealing documents on this new thing called the Internet, and nobody had explained to him that any crackpot could put together a collection of conspiracy theories and post it on a web site. Not surprisingly, Salinger passed away in France. —J.R.T. 

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Pierre Salinger (click for larger version)

Charles Woods

Perennial political candidate and Dothan media and real estate tycoon Charles Woods (83) was the butt of many a cruel grade-school joke. Severely disfigured after a fiery World War II B-17 crash, Woods ran for governor of Alabama several times during the 1960s and ’70s, and even launched a bid for the U.S. presidency that once landed him a guest spot on David Letterman’s show. His bald, earless head, which sported an eyepatch, inspired children across Alabama to stylishly transform their thumbs into the head of Woods, complete with the eyepatch courtesy of a ballpoint pen. —E.R.

Mary McGrory

An outspoken liberal reporter on the Washington, D.C., political scene for 50 years, Mary McGrory (85) won the Pulitzer Prize in 1975 for her columns on Watergate. McGrory first made a name for herself reporting on the Army-McCarthy hearings in 1954 (“an Irish bully” was her assessment of Senator Joseph McCarthy). Her final pieces criticized the Bush administration for invading Iraq. McGrory often referred to Congress as the “federal entertainment center.” Among her accomplishments was inclusion on President Nixon’s famous enemies list. —E.R.

David Dellinger

Often described as a “radical pacifist,” David Dellinger (88) was a leading organizer of nonviolent antiwar protests in the 1960s; it was Dellinger who created the encirclement of the Pentagon immortalized by Norman Mailer in his 1967 account, “Armies of the Night.” His close contact with North Vietnamese officials allowed him to escort several American airmen held as prisoners back to the United States. Civil disobedience was his game. He got the harshest sentence in the political conspiracy trial of the Chicago Seven: five years and a $5,000 fine. Dellinger was a devoted follower of Rev. A. J. Muste’s movement supporting pacifism during World War II. He went to prison for a year in 1943 for draft evasion. Upon his release, he refused to report for his military physical, though he was exempt from actual induction because he was a seminary student. This got him locked up for two more years at a maximum security prison. —E.R.

Archibald Cox and Samuel Dash

Former President Richard Nixon shocked more than a few folks when he fired Watergate special prosecutor Archibald Cox. Oddly enough, Cox, (92) died the same day as 79-year-old Samuel Dash, the chief counsel to the U.S. Senate committee that investigated the Watergate scandal. It was Dash who urged a White House aide to reveal that Nixon was taping conversations with officials. Cox subpoenaed the recordings while investigating the burglary and subsequent cover-up. When Cox refused edited versions of the tapes, Nixon fired him. The former president resigned in 1974. Samuel Dash, an ethics adviser to Kenneth Starr, who investigated former President Bill Clinton, resigned from that position when he felt Starr was abusing his powers as an investigator by advocating Clinton’s impeachment. —E.R.

Yasser Arafat

The celebrity buzz in Hell right now is that Arafat and Hitler are sharing an apartment. That’s not so shocking; the two are both known for their “let’s kill all the Jews” world view. Yet one wonders what else they could possibly have in common. (A deep and abiding fondness for denial and subterfuge? Not much to build a marriage on.) Anyway, one also wonders just who is making whom wear the shiny boots. —D.P.

Abu Abbas

Abu Abbas (55) was the Palestinian Liberation Front (PLO) terrorist behind the 1985 hijacking of the Italian passenger ship Achille Lauro. An elderly, wheelchair-bound Jewish American tourist was pushed overboard during the seige. A 1995 peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians included immunity for PLO members for any terrorist activity committed before September 1993, the month the two sides established a mutual recognition agreement. As a result, Abbas made his first visit to Gaza in 1996 after Israel declared that he was no longer a threat. Abbas was captured by American forces in Iraq in April 2004. He died in U.S. custody. —E.R.

Sports

 

Tug McGraw

 

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Tug McGraw (click for larger version)

Nowadays, a wacky sports figure is somebody who runs over a nun while eluding the cops in the aftermath of a drug bust. Tug McGraw (59) represented a more genial age. He would’ve been eccentric enough as a left-handed pitcher leading the New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies to their first World Series. McGraw pretty much summed up the quotable ’70s when—asked for his preference between grass and Astroturf—he responded that he’d never actually smoked the latter. McGraw also knew how to stage a photo op, as when he arranged for fellow Phillie Mike Schmidt to jump into his arms after winning the 1980 World Series. After his retirement in 1985, McGraw made appearances in a custom suit that combined his Mets and Phillies uniforms. He died in the home of country star Tim McGraw, who only discovered Tug was his real father after finding his birth certificate at the age of 11. The father had originally agreed to pay for Tim’s education as a condition for no further contact, but apparently he was just too damn lovable to leave it at that. —J.R. Taylor


Larry Ponza

Lorenzo “Larry” Ponza perfected the modern pitching machine, a marvelous invention that has entertained many a drunken tourist as they swat at baseballs in batting cages up and down the Florida coastline. Ponza (86) created the prototype for pitching machines with his “Power Pitcher” in 1952. In 1974 he built “The Hummer,” an invaluable tool used for batting instruction by both Little Leaguers and major leaguers. The inventor kept improving on his work with the “Casey” in 1983, the “Ponza Swing King” in 1987, and the “Rookie” in 1988. —E.R.

John H. Williams

As the son of legendary baseball icon Ted Williams, John Williams (35) got his name in the history books after a much-publicized bout with his sister over whether their father’s body should be cremated or cryogenically preserved for future resurrection. The male Williams prevailed, and his father’s head was removed and frozen. However, the cryogenics company later threatened to thaw out the late slugger’s head for disposal unless the younger Williams paid the laboratory $111,000 it was owed. No word on what was done with the younger Williams’ noggin upon death. —Ed Reynolds

John Kelley

John Kelley (97) ran in 61 Boston Marathons, finishing 58 and winning two. Running in his first in 1928, he finally won in 1935, and completed his last in 1992 at age 84, running the entire 26 miles. At age 65 he said his motivation to continue competing was “to try to beat the girls.” —E.R.

Brian Maxwell

One of the top marathoners in the world in the late 1970s and early 1980s, Brian Maxwell (51) made a fortune after he and his wife created the Powerbar, a sports energy snack, in their kitchen in 1986. Maxwell died of a heart attack at age 51 while waiting in line at the post office. Former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Steve Young was an early customer who began eating the Powerbar when they were still being made in the Maxwells’ apartment. Young credited the Powerbar for revolutionizing the sports world’s approach to healthy living. “[Before the Powerbar], players smoked at halftime in the locker room,” said Young. —E.R.

Joe Gold

Joe Gold (82) was an early bodybuilding pioneer. He opened Gold’s Gym in the Venice section of Los Angeles in 1965 and sold it in the early 1970s. They were subsequently franchised across the country. In 1977, Gold started World Gym, the setting for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s film Pumping Iron. As a teen, Gold discovered California’s “Muscle Beach,” which set in place his devotion to bodybuilding. He often worked out with railroad ties and buckets of hardened concrete. —E.R.

Sidney James

In 1954 Sidney James became the founding editor of Sports Illustrated. The first issue sold for 25 cents. James, who had coordinated the first televised coverage of the Republican and Democratic conventions in 1948, convinced William Faulkner, Robert Frost, Ernest Hemingway, and John Steinbeck to contribute pieces to the magazine. —E.R.

Walter F. Riker, Jr.

As drug adviser for the NFL, Riker was an expert on the effects of drugs on muscular and neuromuscular systems. Riker advised professional football in the early 1970s when amphetamine use by pro athletes was booming. In the 1980s, he addressed the escalation of cocaine among players and warned that steroids would one day be a major dilemma. —E.R.

Marge Schott

Anybody who thinks racism isn’t funny never saw Marge Schott (75) in action. The outspoken former owner of the Cincinnati Reds constantly made headlines with her idiocy, and got the occasional fine for racial slurs. That’s what happens when a trashy broad inherits an empire after her husband dies. Schott had been best known in Cincinnati for her dopey TV ads for her car dealership—in which she co-starred with a dog—but she spent the ’90s as the spokeswoman for privileged obliviousness. Reds owner Carl Lindner said, “She will be remembered for her love of baseball and for her passion for the Cincinnati Reds.” There’s some wishful thinking. It’ll be hard to top the memory of Schott proclaiming, “Everybody knows [Adolf Hitler] was good at the beginning, but he just went too far.” —J.R.T.

Cat Show Confidential

Cat Show Confidential

By Ed Reynolds

February 10, 2005

“Of course not!” shrieked a woman from Atlanta when asked if her cat traveled as cargo when flying to feline shows around the country. “I keep him in a cage beneath my seat on the plane!” she indignantly explained, recoiling in horror that some insensitive soul would ask such a question. The occasion for the shocking query was the 34th annual Cat Fanciers’ Association Cat Show at the BJCC South Exhibition Hall on January 29 and 30. It was my initiation into the world of pampered cats, and before the afternoon was over, I would make the acquaintance of people who purchase plane tickets for their pets.

Approximately one hundred cats and their doting owners patiently waited to be summoned to the judging area. Persians, Himalayans (a couple of fanciers engaged in a lively debate concerning whether Persians are Himalayans or Himalayans are Persians), Egyptian short hairs with big eyes, Oriental shorthairs with long, protruding faces, Somalis, Birmans, Sphynxes (hairless cats that are “so ugly they’re cute”), basset-hound-size Maine Coons, shorthair Russian Blues, and the outlawed Singapuras all lounged in their cages with complete disregard for curious observers. Each cage was partially covered with materials distinctive to the owner’s personality; some cats resided beneath pink chiffon; others glanced with boredom from cascades of gold lamé; a British flag covered a British shorthair’s cage, while a Somali from the Gunsmoke Cattery (a cattery is defined as an establishment for the breeding and boarding of cats) peered from a cage draped in mock blue denim adorned with tiny guns and cowboy boots. “I just like old westerns,” the cattery owner explained.

The unforgivable sin at cat shows is to touch the animals. Warning signs urge the curious to back off: “I Do Not Bite But My Owner Does” and “Hands Off! This Cat Insured by Smith & Wesson!” Some have name plates attached to the cages: “Hello, my name is Johnny Cash.” The owner affirmed that, yes, there once was a June Carter in the family, but she was Johnny Cash the cat’s late sister. His mother was Loretta Lynn, and there were a couple of other siblings named Hank Williams and Crystal Gayle.

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(click for larger version)

The outlawed Singapura (Malaysian for Singapore), recently declared a national treasure in Singapore, has been banned from exportation. The breed is smaller than the average shorthair cat, with incredibly large, Martian-like eyes and a disposition to interact with humans (a characteristic that earned it the nickname “pesky people cat”). Singapuras are the only known breed of which two non-neutered males can coexist without conflict.

A Maine Coon named Jordy was the show-stealer. An unbelievably large animal, Jordy looks as though he belongs in a zoo instead of a cat show. Weighing in at a whopping 22 pounds, the cat shed four pounds after going on the “Catkins diet,” according to his Miami owner, who put the cat on the diet not only due to health concerns, but also because it was getting difficult to fit him into the cage on the judging stand. Judges wave feathers in the face of each feline to examine a cat’s personality, among other traits. Jordy merely stared at the feather, then turned his gaze to other cats waiting their turns.

Clare Hames of the Birmingham Feline Fanciers, coordinator for the household pet division of the cat show, explained the feather-teasing by the judges. “They’re trying to make the cat play,” explained Hames. “Most household pets are not used to getting out and going to a show. So [the judges] are trying to play with it. Now as far as the purebred, they’re doing that because most purebreds will play, but they’re also trying to notice anything else they need to. Purebreds are judged by things like color, or they can’t have a kink in their tail. Persian cats’ noses are supposed to be smushed a certain way, things like that.”

In the perpetual cats-versus-dogs debate regarding intelligence, Hames, who owns both, admitted that she would have to side with cats. “Cats are much more demanding. A cat has a set schedule, while a dog has a schedule that goes along with yours. A cat wants things its way or not at all.”

Dead Folks 2005, Photographers

Dead Folks 2005, Photographers

A look back at the notable names and personalities who called it quits last year.

February 24, 2005

Richard Avedon

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“Sunday by the River Marne, France, 1938″ by Henri Cartier-Bresson (click for larger version)


Summing up Avedon’s career, someone fairly nailed it when they said, “Although his work could be unflattering, at times brutally honest, there was never a shortage of subjects willing to be photographed.” Working at first for Harper’s Bazaar and then Vogue, it was Avedon’s idea to eschew careful lighting, delicate compositions, and choreographed poses in favor of rather drastic authenticity. Photography should be directed by the artist’s vision and not the subject, or so went his theory. It was a groundbreaking, phenomenally successful exercise in style over finesse, and the obvious physical flaws he captured seemed not to disturb his subjects, who might be pop stars, writers, social butterflies, the super rich, or someone famous for being famous. And then there were the supermodels.

Avedon was also the visual consultant for the film Funny Face, the story of a fashion photographer and his muse starring Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn (two guesses as to whom that movie was based on). Avedon also published award-winning collections of his unique coverage of the Civil Rights movement, the Vietnam War, and the Trial of the Chicago Seven. For an unflinching visual tour of that tumultuous era, Avedon the Sixties is a required study.—David Pelfrey

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Richard Avedon (click for larger version)

Helmut Newton

No doubt about it, Newton turned most of us into Charlotte Rampling fans, and he did so with a single shot. That’s Charlotte, the lithe, ice-cold goddess reclining on the big desk. In the nude. She’s extremely appealing and scary as hell, which seems to be the general theme in Newton’s work. His photographs were quick, disturbing glances into the realm of bondage, sadomasochism, rough trade, voyeurism, and unbridled decadence. Something very naughty or very dangerous (or both) seemed to be taking place, but being mere glances, these shots only suggest narratives rather than provide them. Even in his more straightforward shots of scantily-clad über-babes, Newton seamlessly meshes glamour with sleaze, at least implying that there’s a sordid backstory for every image. Further analysis of Newton’s photography is superfluous. If ever anyone crafted pictures worth a thousand words (the kind of words appropriate for a locked diary, a criminal investigation, or a Velvet Underground song), Newton certainly did. —D.P.


Eddie Adams

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Helmut Newton (click for larger version)


A Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist and combat photographer, Adams’ (71) snapshot of a South Vietnamese officer shooting a Viet Cong infiltrator in the head from two feet away was one of the war’s more riveting images. The photographer defended the South Vietnamese Brigadier General’s contention that the Viet Cong had murdered a friend, his wife, and six children, insisting that anyone would react the same way in retribution. Adams’ images of Vietnamese boat people, refugees who were turned away when seeking asylum in neighboring countries, prompted the United States to accept up to 200,000 refugees. “I wasn’t out to save the world,” Adams once said. “I was out to get a story.” Adams covered 13 wars. —Ed Reynolds


The Gospel According to Reverend Al

The Gospel According to Reverend Al

Satirist Al Franken sharpens his political ax.

 

January 27, 2005

With the possible exceptions of Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton, no liberal is more despised by conservatives than Al Franken. His volatile public spat with Bill O’Reilly after Franken called him a liar for claiming that “Inside Edition,” where O’Reilly had been an anchor, had won a Peabody Award, led to a hilarious battle of insults between the two on C-SPAN in 2003. O’Reilly had actually won a Polk award but claims merely to have mixed up the names. Franken refused to let him off the hook, however. To this day, O’Reilly refuses to so much as utter Franken’s name, much less have him as a guest either on his radio or Fox television program. Franken was also sued by Fox News for using the phrase “fair and balanced” in the title of his book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. The suit was eventually thrown out.

 

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Satirist Al Franken performs at the Alys Stephens Center on Saturday, February 12. (click for larger version)

 

 

Franken’s publicist suggested a five-minute interview, but Franken, who had just finished his Air America political radio program minutes earlier, said he had nothing urgent that afternoon. He graciously and enthusiastically chatted for half an hour. When he laughs, he often sounds like one of the Tappet Brothers (Tom and Ray Magliozzi), who host “Car Talk” on NPR. Franken will appear at the Alys Stephens Center’s Jemison Concert Hall on Saturday, February 12, at 8 p.m.

B&W: I read a quote from Mort Sahl where he said “Comedy has changed. It isn’t funny anymore.” Do you agree?

Franken: No (laughs). Some comedy isn’t funny. But some comedy is. That’s something that will never change (laughs).

B&W: We have to go to our computers to listen to Air America in Birmingham.

Franken: Or you can get it on Sirius or XM. But I understand; I’d love to have it down in Birmingham.

B&W: Is that an example of perhaps how culturally backwards the South is?

Franken: (Laughing) No, we’re not in places in the North (laughs). We have 45 stations; I mean, we’re adding stations all the time. We’re just adding Detroit, which is pretty far north, as our scientists tell us . . . I’d love to be in Birmingham. Birmingham is a town I’ve been talking about to people at Air America for a while. Obviously they go after the largest markets first, and so that’s the priority. But I kind of like the idea of being in Birmingham.

B&W: Anything in particular about Birmingham that attracts you?

Franken: Well, I don’t know. It seems like the most progressive town in Alabama . . .

B&W: That’s not saying a whole lot.

Franken: Well, maybe Huntsville, too. I’d rather be in Birmingham than Anniston. It’s bigger. But I’d love to be in Anniston!

B&W: I’m curious about Clear Channel’s addition of Air America in the San Diego market. When they did that, they changed the call letters of the station there to KLSD.

Franken: Yeah, and it was like “Liberal San Diego” is what they tell us. It wasn’t like (does a stoner Tommy Chong-like voice), “Hey man, we want LSD (laughs).” So I heard that, and my heart sank. I don’t why they did that. I guess it’s memorable. I think in Austin we may be on KOKE, which I’m not thrilled with either.


B&W:
Tell me about the recent USO tour.

Franken: It was the second year in a row that I did a USO tour to Kuwait, Iraq, and Afghanistan. And, basically, I spent most of my time with rednecks. You know, Mark Wills, the country star, and Darryl Worley, and Bradshaw, the wrestler. And I liked them enormously. . . . All of us on that tour, we deliberately did the same tour [together] the next year.

B&W: Were the soldiers fairly receptive to your USO performances?

Franken: People ask me that all the time, and I’ve done five USO tours—and, of course, I think more and more recently I’ve been known more for my politics—never once have I had a soldier say anything other than, “Our politics are totally different, but thanks for coming over.” And that makes a lot of sense. If you’ve done these tours, you know that they so appreciate not just the entertainers but anybody coming over.

B&W: Do you still respect Colin Powell even though he supported the Iraq invasion?

Franken: Yeah, I still have respect for Colin Powell, I do. I believe that the day he testified before the U.N. was the low point of his career . . . I don’t think it’s just having been to Iraq [on a USO tour], but I did come back kind of angry, because we do have magnificent soldiers. I went to some hospitals in Iraq and talked to guys who were grievously wounded. Very, very, very young—my kid’s age. And it tears me up, because I think that we went to war under false pretenses. And then not only that, we prosecuted the war in an incredibly incompetent way that was due to hubris and, worse than that, laziness. I think that Powell does the right thing, famously quoted in the Woodward book, which is, “If you break it, you own it.” You know, the Pottery Barn rule. Which, by the way, isn’t the Pottery Barn rule. We immediately at Air America were the first ones to break this story: It’s not the Pottery Barn rule because you can accidently break something in a Pottery Barn, and you don’t pay for it. To me that meant that if you’re the president and your secretary of state says, “If you break it, you own it,” you should know that already, but your job is to understand what that means. And there was planning done by the state department called The Future of Iraq Project, and all this is very, very well detailed in James Fallows’ article “Blind Into Baghdad” in the January/February 2004 Atlantic Monthly. And there was planning done by the CIA and planning done by the Army War College, which is a 1,500-page document which has been amazingly prescient. And among the things they said were don’t allow looting, for example; get the electricity up as fast as possible; get the water up as fast as possible; don’t let the military disband; send in a couple of hundred thousand troops. All these things that we didn’t do that we should have done that we should have known about that was there. The planning that was done. When people say this war was badly planned, it wasn’t badly planned, it’s just that the planning was ignored. And it was ignored by people having ideological reasons to ignore it . . . I think that intellectual sloth is a vice, I really do. It’s a vice if you’re the president of the United States. It’s not a vice if you’re Randy Moss [Minnesota Vikings wide receiver]. I mean, Randy should study the plays, and watch the film, and know his routes. But after that he can kick back and play video games, I don’t care. But if you’re the president of the United States, intellectual sloth is a vice. And I believe that the man has a history of that. I think that he’s a smart man in many ways, but he didn’t do the job he was supposed to do. And because of that we have young men who wouldn’t have been dying.


B&W:
What prompted you to focus more on politics than satire?

Franken: I did “Saturday Night Live” for 15 seasons, and during those years I wrote a lot of the political material on the show with other people, including Jim Downey, who is pretty conservative. He and I wrote a lot of stuff together. And neither of us ever felt that it was the job of the show to have a political ax to grind. First of all, we kept each other honest, in a way. And really just didn’t see it as appropriate to have, you know, like he didn’t write a piece that was real conservative and I’d write a piece that was real liberal. We didn’t feel like that was what the show was about. We felt that there were so many other creative people on the show that “Saturday Night Live” had a certain role to play. And the role was to be politically neutral and make fun of everybody, which is what we did. So when I finally left the show in 1995 I had a deal to write a political book, and I felt like that was the first time I really had the opportunity to express my own political views, and that was Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations. Now, before I did “Saturday Night Live,” Tom Davis and I worked as a team since, like, the ’60s when we were in high school together. We did political stuff that did express our politics, but when we went to “Saturday Night Live” we didn’t feel that was our job.

B&W: Whatever happened to Tom Davis?

Franken: Well, Tom has actually been doing our radio show quite frequently. We write these bits. He and I are huge Bob and Ray fans, so we do a lot of Bob and Ray-esque pieces.

B&W: I love that story you told David Letterman about taking your son to see Bambi.

Franken: Yeah, I had gone through this long, elaborate thing to cushion that moment [when it's learned that Bambi's mother gets killed]. And Joe [Franken's son] was five, and so that moment happens, and you know, she gets killed off-camera, off-screen. And he says, “What happened to Bambi’s mom?” And I said, “Well, Bambi’s mom has been shot by the hunters, and she’s gone, she’s dead. But don’t worry, it’s just a movie, and it’s not going to happen to your mom, and Bambi’s going to be OK because Bambi’s daddy’s going to take care of him.” And he liked the movie so much that we came back the next week. And there was a little girl in front of us, like about a five-year-old girl, who at the same point in the movie asked her mom, “Where’s Bambi’s mommy?” And Joe said to her, “She’s dead. (laughs).”

B&W: Are there any conservative pundits that you respect or like?

Franken: Yeah, I’m interested in what Bill Kristol has to say. With all these people, I obviously have differences with, but he’s very smart and has interesting things to say. And George Will—less and less—but I used to really be a big fan of his. Sorta growing out of that, for some reason (laughs). David Brooks is someone, I like his stuff every once in a while, and hate it. There are guys that I don’t ever like what they write. Andrew Ferguson I find good.

B&W: Do you give better phone sex than Bill O’Reilly?


Franken:
No! He beats me . . . hands down.

B&W: If you had your wife’s approval, would you rather have phone sex with Ann Coulter, Peggy Noonan, or Katherine Harris?

Franken: Wow . . . wow . . . wow (laughs). You know, that’s almost unanswerable. Hmmm . . . Ann Coulter, Peggy Noonan, or Katherine Harris. It’s a real toss-up. Any one of them would be great (laughs). An embarrassment of riches (laughs).

B&W: Have you got any good Andy Kaufman stories?

Franken: You know what? Andy was hilarious. And what he did was groundbreaking and strange and great. But he was, uhh, what you saw was what you got. He wasn’t that different off camera, at least to me. He was just sorta strange. And when I heard they were doing Man on the Moon, I went like, boy, is there something about Andy that I don’t know to make a movie about this? And I went to the movie and I said, “No there wasn’t.” I didn’t think that was Milos Forman’s best movie, and I thought that Jim Carrey did a great job in the movie, but I don’t think that was a particularly compelling movie. But Andy was brilliant. There’s a documentary on the wrestling thing. I thought that was hilarious. You know the thing about him reading The Great Gatsby [Kaufman claimed to have read the book to an audience one night]? He didn’t (laughs). Maybe he [really] did after he told me he did. Once he sat down and told me he had read The Great Gatsby to an audience and then I found out that he hadn’t from his manager. And I was going like, why did he tell me that? And usually with comedians you get some kind of balance. But with Andy, you didn’t. I never got close to Andy.

B&W: Are there any sacred cows that you refuse to touch satirically?

Franken: You know what, there are no sacred cows, it’s just how you do it. I can easily be offended by a comedian who doesn’t handle something in the right way. And then someone can do an AIDS joke that’s handled in the right way.

B&W: Any examples of comedians that have offended you?

Franken: Uummm. No, usually they are just lousy comedians who don’t understand . . . I wasn’t offended by Andrew Dice Clay. I’m not offended by Howard Stern. They do different things than I do. I got a little offended by [Don] Imus at the radio and TV correspondents dinner on the behalf of other people. And then again, it’s because I just thought he wasn’t doing it right. But there are other times that I like Imus. But sure, I get offended a lot of times by banality, and a very, very lame sitcom will offend me to my core (laughs) . . . You see, I have a theory in my comedy that Downey and I always had in the political stuff we wrote, which I think was somewhat sophisticated. We always had the sorta credo to reward people . . . to write a piece so that people who knew a lot about what we were doing would really like it—would feel especially rewarded for knowing extra stuff. But people who didn’t know that much about it wouldn’t be punished for not knowing. Whereas a lot of comedy that I see does the opposite—it punishes you for knowing things, like humans don’t behave this way. Very often the comedy that offends me is like a sitcom that has people behaving in a way that they don’t behave. Then rewarding you for being an idiot. The jokes about politics that are just so base and stupid and have nothing to do with anything. They’ll offend me. And I’ll be offended by comedy that’s overly precious. It’s like asking a musician what music does he like . . . There’s more aesthetic things that are offensive to me than probably to the normal consumer of comedy.

B&W: What can we expect from your lecture on February 12?

Franken: I don’t know. Is it a lecture (laughs)? It’ll probably be a combination of comedy, politics . . . I like to do a funny show; it’s like what I’ve been doing lately. It goes in and out of being funny and being serious . . . And then we’ll be doing that phone sex thing with Peggy Noonan, Ann Coulter, or Katherine Harris (laughs). And hopefully, hopefully, all three (laughs). &

City Hall — Kincaid Weighs in on “No Pass, No Play” Policy

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January 27, 2005 

Last fall the Birmingham Board of Education temporarily dropped its controversial “no pass, no play” policy that denies students the opportunity to participate in extracurricular activities if they fail to maintain at least a 70 grade average in each class. Area coaches had vehemently protested the policy, with criticism focusing on the lack of such restrictions in other state education systems. The Alabama High School Athletic Association has a less severe requirement that requires students to maintain a grade average of 70 in four core courses and two electives.

Birmingham Mayor Bernard Kincaid is dubious about the policy’s reinstatement on the recommendation of Birmingham School Superintendent Dr. Wayman Shiver “unless and until, in my mind, [Shiver] can show some increase in academic performance with the institution of [the policy].” Kincaid pointed out that other school systems do not employ such constraints. “All around us we have Mountain Brook, Vestavia Hills, and Hoover rated in the top five school systems in the state, [and they] don’t have that restriction,” said Kincaid. “Now [Shiver] might say we need that, we might need a performance enhancer for our athletes that they [other school systems] don’t necessarily need. But he has, in my mind, not made that linkage. He just wants to do it because it’s more restrictive.”

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Kincaid added that the Birmingham school system is already losing students to other systems. “We’re fighting like the dickens to keep them from gravitating to Mountain Brook, Vestavia, Homewood, and Hoover,” said Kincaid. “I haven’t seen the value of [Shiver's] argument yet. He might have some reasons that have not been put on the table yet, but the reasons that are on the table just don’t satisfy me yet.”

A vote by the school board approving the policy’s reinstatement was postponed at the January 11 meeting of the board, with board members complaining that a return to the policy after the 2004 football season had finished would be unfair to students participating in winter and spring activities, which include not only athletics but band and chorale participation as well. Kincaid doubts that the policy will return. “I wish [Shiver] luck in an election year,” said the Mayor. “I think enough parents out there will raise enough cain in the individual districts that the board members are just not going to go along with it.” &