Category Archives: Country Western

Just Like a Woman

Just Like a Woman


Loretta Lynn
Loretta Lynn is coming to Birmingham to sign copies of her new autobiography, Still Woman Enough, an entertaining but brutally honest account of Lynn’s life as one of America’s greatest country music performers.

An afternoon telephone conversation with country legend Loretta Lynn reveals a woman completely unaffected by notoriety. Lynn sounds as though she were still a Butcher Holler farm girl, speaking in a rural dialect that contradicts her stardom. The singer doesn’t pull any punches. Hit her once and she’ll hit back twice. Her husband Doolittle’s (Doo) philandering and chronic alcoholism provoked more than a few violent episodes during their 48-year marriage. She knocked two of his front teeth out one night, pleased as she could be that his cheating was put to rest until he could get new teeth. Their marriage is tumultuously detailed in her second autobiography Still Woman Enough, an entertaining but brutally honest account of Lynn’s fascinating life as one of America’s greatest country music performers.

Loretta Lynn literally defines country. The names of her children read like a hillbilly sitcom: Betty Sue, Ernest Ray, Patsy, Cissie, Jack Benny. Married at age 13 in Kentucky coal-mining country, Lynn and her husband moved to Washington State a year later so Doo could pan for gold and Loretta could pick strawberries. Though noting that there were anecdotes in her autobiography that she couldn’t have written if her husband were still alive, Lynn is unwavering in her devotion to the man directly responsible for her success. Doo convinced Loretta to sing in Northwest honky tonks despite her severe stage fright. Lynn began to build a following in Canada but noticed that her most loyal fans were suddenly absent for a couple of months. When she finally confronted them about where they’d been, they explained that they had given up Loretta for Lent. The singer said the only “Lent” she was familiar with was the kind that gets on your clothes. Doo later chauffeured her on a blitz tour of radio stations around the country to convince disc jockeys to play her first single “I’m a Honky Tonk Girl.” And it was her husband who got her on the Grand Ole Opry after her first record entered the charts, by convincing Opry officials to let his wife audition. She was invited to sing on the Opry for the next 17 weeks, receiving $18 per night (with three additional bucks if she sang an extra song).

Being an Opry star didn’t change Lynn much. She continued to slaughter her barnyard chickens for dinner and shop for material at the Salvation Army thrift store to make her own stage outfits. She was once chastised by a ranking Opry official who saw her coming out of the store. He told her it “cast a bad light on the Opry when local folks saw the show’s singers acting like poor people.” She didn’t know how to use a credit card until Conway Twitty instructed her in the late 1970s.

Influenced by nothing more than Saturday night Grand Ole Opry broadcasts and her delight in rhyming words with siblings as a child, Lynn displayed a remarkable ability for writing songs. “Doo got me a book that showed how you wrote ‘em. It was called Country Roundup, I think. I just looked at the songs and I said, ‘Anybody can do this.’ The first spanking Doo ever give me was because I rhymed a word. And it rhymed with door — you know what it was — and I didn’t know what it meant. It was raining and cold and he let the door open and I said, ‘Shut the door you little. . . .’ And I got a whippin’ for that. And he’d promised Daddy he’d never put a hand on me. And that was the next day after he’d married me. He throwed me over his knee and busted my butt.”

In 1963, the singer was asked by childhood idol Ernest Tubb to record a series of duets. “I never dreamed I’d ever sing with him, ’cause when Daddy had that little radio, we’d listen to the Grand Ole Opry on Saturday night and the news, ’cause the war was goin’ on. But I’d start to cry when Ernest Tubb started to sing. And Mama would say, ‘I’m gonna turn the radio off if you don’t quit cryin.’” Tubb was instrumental in establishing Lynn as a country institution. “When I come to Nashville, MCA Records, which was Decca at the time, they asked Ernest to record with a girl. And he said he wanted to record with me. He did so much for me. The last time I sang with him, it was like standin’ up by a big monument. I even went to Billy Bob’s [famed Fort Worth bar, the largest honky tonk in the world] and did a show for him to buy medicine with, ’cause he had run out of money. He helped everybody in Nashville but no one would go help him.”

But it was her series of duets with Conway Twitty that placed Lynn on the same “classic duo” pedestal occupied by George Jones and Tammy Wynette. “Yeah, I loved Conway. He was like a brother, and he would give me advice. If he thought I wasn’t doing things right, he’d tell me, ‘This is how you do it,’ and I’d say, ‘No, that’s how you do it. This is how I’d do it,’” she laughs. Their string of soap-opera-style hits included “Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man,” “You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly,” and “Backstreet Affair.” In a strange twist of fate, Conway Twitty unexpectedly died with Lynn at his bedside in a Missouri hospital in 1991 after Twitty was overcome with a stomach aneurysm while touring the Midwest. He was rushed to the nearest hospital, where Lynn was waiting as Doo recovered from open-heart surgery. She thought that Twitty had decided to drop by to visit her husband. “I watched Conway’s bus come off the exit. I run downstairs to let him know what room Doo was in, and they come draggin’ him in. Blood’s comin’ out of his mouth and his eyes was tryin’ to focus on me and he couldn’t. I almost fell out right there. The chaplain came in and told me that Conway would not live through the night, so he told me if I wanted to see him I should go on back there. I went in his room and patted him on the arm and said, ‘Conway, you love to sing, honey, don’t you leave me.’”

Staunchly defiant, Lynn was a fly in the conservative ointment of the Nashville music industry. She was the first to write and sing about women’s issues. “The Pill” was the first of several of her songs to be banned, but Lynn was smart enough to recognize a marketing opportunity as women flocked to her side. “It’s all because I’d get down and talk to the women. All of ‘em were taking the pill and they weren’t wearin’ bras [pronounced 'braws']. Everybody was taking the pill, why not talk about it. Everybody was havin’ kids just like I was, why not say, ‘One’s on the way.’ I couldn’t understand why the public was worried about my songs. And when ‘Rated X’ come out, just the title of it, they started banning the record. And they didn’t listen to it. It was about a divorced woman. Nothin’ in it was bad. When ‘Don’t Come Home a-Drinkin” come out, the big 50-watt [sic] station in Chicago didn’t play it, ’cause they thought it was dirty. It went number one, they started playin’ it.”

Loretta Lynn’s music was a stark contrast to Tammy Wynette’s songs about sticking with men, regardless. Ironically, Wynette went through five husbands, while Lynn’s only husband was Doo. “Tammy Wynette was outspoken about standing by her man, and I’d done hit mine over the head with a rollin’ pin,” Lynn laughs. “Tammy said, ‘I’d be afraid to sing that, afraid they wouldn’t play my record.’ But it didn’t hurt me. They’d ban ‘em and they’d go number one.” Lynn took Wynette under her wing when she arrived in Nashville, just as Patsy Cline had done for her when Lynn first moved to town as an unknown. “Oh, Tammy was my best girlfriend. First girlfriend I had, except Patsy. I never did get that close to all the artists. All of ‘em have their own way of doin’ things, and I think they kinda stayed away from me because of the songs I wrote. They shoulda liked ‘em, they might’ve rubbed off on ‘em. They could’ve wrote their own.”

Lynn also didn’t think twice about crossing racial divides. “When Charlie Pride won Singer of the Year, I was the one that was supposed to give the award. So they said, ‘Loretta, if Charlie wins, step back one foot and don’t touch him.’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearin’ ’cause I’d been livin’ on the West Coast for 13 or 14 years,” Lynn remembers, still appalled. “Charlie is just another singer to me. When it comes to color, I’m colorblind, ’cause I’m part Cherokee. So when Charlie won, I stepped up and hugged him and kissed him. They got a little upset about it. I thought, ‘Well, Charlie shouldn’t even sing for ‘em if that’s the way they feel about him.’”

One of her champions in Nashville was the Carter Family, who at one time asked her to join the group. Lynn refused because she felt she couldn’t sing their harmonies properly. She remembers trying to get a sulking Johnny Cash on stage. “Poor little ol’ Johnny. They couldn’t get him out on stage. Johnny Cash has always been good to me. He was the first one that took me out of Nashville on a tour. Him and the Carter Family, we went to Toronto and Ontario [sic]. He was not having too good a night. Mother Maybelle, June . . . they were all mad at him. I said, ‘Come on, baby, it’s time for you to go on.’ He jerked his coat down and there was a bottle of pills — a hundred-aspirin bottle of pills, but it wasn’t aspirin. I didn’t know what they was ’cause I’d never seen a diet pill in my life. And they went all over the floor and they was all different colors. And Johnny said, ‘Don’t leave any,’ and I sat down on that floor and picked up every pill and put them back.”

Refusing to sway from her convictions, Loretta Lynn has remained her own woman. Her forthright honesty provoked a showdown with Frank Sinatra, who invited Lynn to duet on what had been his first hit, “All or Nothing at All.” She told Sinatra it was the worst song she’d ever heard and suggested they sing “Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man.” Sinatra told her when she had her own television show she could sing whatever she wanted.

Her simple approach to life and refusal to bow to showbiz expectations also left a lasting impression on Dean Martin. Martin had been so taken with the Carter Family’s performance on his show that he asked them to recommend another Nashville artist. They suggested Lynn, who refused to sit in Martin’s lap, as was customary when he sang duets with female performers. Instead of being offended, Martin decided her spunk was the perfect ingredient to spice up the Dean Martin’s Celebrity Roast featuring Jack Lemmon. Lynn picks up the story in her autobiography: “Well, I’d never heard of a ‘roast.’ I thought Dean Martin was inviting me to dinner with his Hollywood friends. So I dressed up real nice. They made a special dress for me out of material flown from Paris, France. I couldn’t understand why they wanted me to eat in that fancy dress. They made me read from a Teleprompter and I told Dean I was scared to death and didn’t read so good. But I didn’t have a choice. I was stuck. Making me feel worse, I started in saying the most awful things about Jack Lemmon. I didn’t know they was jokes. So each time I said something, I turned to Jack and said, ‘I didn’t mean that, honey. I don’t even know you. I’m just saying what’s on that there card.’” &

Loretta Lynn will be signing copies of her latest autobiography Still Woman Enough at Books & Company on Tuesday, June 25, at 6 p.m. Call 870-0212 for details.

She will also be performing at Looney’s Tavern on Saturday, July 13, in Double Springs. Tickets are $17-$30 for the 7:30 p.m. show. Call 205-489-5000 for details.

BBC to Beam Country Boy Eddy to the World

BBC to Beam Country Boy Eddy to the World

Ringing a cowbell, playing a fiddle, and braying his famous “mule call,” Country Boy Eddy (aka Eddy Burns) was more reliable than a barnyard rooster as his daily 5 a.m. television show woke up households across the Southeast. For some WBRC Channel 6 viewers, the day couldn’t begin without coffee and the purest country music ever heard. For others, it was the perfect way to end an all-nighter.

 

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Sunrise was never the same after “The Country Boy Eddy Show” was canceled in 1994. Burns was as proficient doing advertisements and delivering one-liners as he was strumming a guitar while reading funeral announcements. He advertised everything from mobile homes to Eagle Seven Rat Bait (“If you love your rats, neighbors, don’t give ‘em this stuff, ’cause it kills the ol’ rat dead!”). He continually poked fun at his regular cast of sidekicks with a devious grin. While interviewing a chimney sweep who had arrived at the television station to plug his expertise at “reaming out chimneys,” Country Boy turned to one of his ever-revolving cohosts and asked, “Bobby T, you ever been reamed out?”

In the mid-1960s, a blond hairdresser named Wynette Pugh, barely out of her teens, shyly walked into WBRC studios and asked Burns for an audition. “She looked over at me after she finished that song and asked, ‘Do you think I’m good enough to be on your show?’” Burns laughed and said, “Yeah, you can be on anytime you want to.” Pugh became a regular, eventually moving to Nashville and changing her name to Tammy Wynette.

The British Broadcasting Corporation recently paid Burns a visit at Fox 6 studios to interview him for a BBC special on Wynette. The program is scheduled to air in January 2003. “They wanted to see the studio we performed in. They wanted to do a little story about it,” said Burns, who added that he had never been to Britain, nor had he ever seen any BBC programming.

These days, Burns still makes occasional commercials and performs at churches, nursing homes, restaurants, and mobile home centers. “One guy up in Cullman pays me $500 to come sit on the porch with my guitar and greet people when they come in to buy a mobile home. I say, ‘Come on in folks!’ and give ‘em a mule call and a cowbell ring. We sell the heck out of ‘em!”

George Jones

George Jones


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Having relinquished his reputation for being too drunk to appear on stage, George Jones had gotten as predictable as April rain over the past 20 years. However, Jones’ performance at Oak Mountain May 25 was anything but predictable. Though still relegating his best hits to medley-status, the 70-year-old singer abandoned his uptight sing-and-get-the-hell-off-the-stage philosophy for a more relaxed approach, as though he were entertaining at a backyard barbecue. Stylishly attired in white boots and a western-stitched powder blue suit, Jones bears a striking resemblance to the late Charlie Rich. His silver hair remains considerably long, meticulously brushed into place, as if manicured rather than sprayed.

In the past, Jones’ voice has been as precise as Pavarotti’s. The classic nasal whine and resonating bottom tones are strong as ever, but on this night, Jones struggled with high notes, often singing flat through entire phrases. Instead of detracting, the loss of vocal control added an intriguing accessible element that complemented the singer’s admittedly simple approach to performing: “We don’t need anybody flyin’ around on a rope. We’re just a plain, ol’ country music show.”

A plain, ol’ country music show, indeed. Before Jones came on stage, a video screen behind the band’s instruments hawked a recent George Jones recording, urging fans to simply raise their hands and the latest CD would be delivered to their seats for 10 bucks. During the show Jones bantered with the crowd, bemoaning the current state of country music, “Ya’ll notice that they don’t write songs about drinkin’ and cheatin’ any more?” he asked at one point. The crowd vocally shared his dismay. Moments later, a young, obviously intoxicated fan leaped onto the stage to hug Jones and tell the singer how much he loved him. Jones replied, “Well. I love you, too, son.” As security personnel dragged the besotted fellow from the stage, Jones asked them to take it easy on the kid. “He’s a good boy. I remember those days,” he laughed.

Proudly admitting that he was drinking “spring water, though I don’t know how much spring it has in it,” Jones acknowledged several birthdays in the audience. With surreal abandon, he sang “Happy Birthday” to a couple of people instead of squeezing all the names into one version. An American flag was brought out toward the show’s conclusion, as Jones introduced a husband and wife duo that had opened the concert. “They’re gonna sing ‘God Bless the USA’ by Lee Greenwood or Ray Stevens or whatever his name is,” Jones said flippantly. “I get ‘em mixed up. All I know is, one’s funny and the other one isn’t.”

Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll

Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n’ Roll


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Nashville Rebel: Waylon Jennings, 1937-2002.

Waylon Jennings was addicted, no question about it. Skipping meals and going for days without a bath, Jennings spent hours wallowing in self-absorbed, hedonistic pleasure as bells rang and colors flashed before his eyes. Life was getting out of hand. He’d drive all night after a show in Louisiana just so he could wrap his fingers around his favorite Nashville pinball machine. His habit eventually reached $35,000 a year — in quarters.

Jennings’ childhood in Texas epitomized the drama of country songs. He picked cotton from dusk to dawn, his mother openly wept every time she heard Roy Acuff sing “Wreck on the Highway,” and an alcoholic uncle regularly consumed grapefruit juice with brake fluid. Jennings was an outlaw long before his music was literally marketed as such. Refusing to conform to ideals defined by the Nashville music establishment, Jennings grew his hair long and boycotted the Grand Ole Opry for 10 years because the show did not allow performers to use a full set of drums. His disdain for the music industry took root in his teens when he played with his Texas pal Buddy Holly. Jennings gave up his seat on the doomed airplane that killed Holly, J. P. Richardson [the Big Bopper], and Richie Valens. Holly had teased Jennings about being afraid to fly to the next show 400 miles away, laughing that he hoped the bus Jennings and others were traveling on would freeze. Jennings replied, “Well, I hope your ol’ plane crashes.” Guilt and remorse about the remark haunted him for years.

The promoter found a local teen who had won a talent show to fill in for Buddy Holly the night of his death. Jennings was convinced to play the show with assurance that he would be flown home to Texas the next day for Holly’s funeral. The flight home never materialized, and the tour proceeded for another three months across the Midwest. At tour’s end, Jennings received only half of what he had agreed to play for; promoters had short-changed the musicians since the stars had been unable to appear.

Jennings revolutionized music, creating an irreverent blend of country and rock ‘n’ roll that introduced a generation of drug-addled hippies to a warped version of 1950s cowboy singers Roy Rogers and Tex Ritter. Music critics branded the sound “Outlaw.” A string of duets with Willie Nelson, including “Good-Hearted Woman,” “Luckenbach, Texas,” and “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys,” drew an audience that Nashville had failed to snare with its marketing of “folk-country.” In truth, Jennings had never set foot in Luckenbach, and absolutely detested the song because he thought it sounded too much like “Good Time Charlie’s Got the Blues.”

“I left all my ex-wives. They didn’t leave me,” Jennings bragged in his autobiography. “I went through my marriages like Grant went through Richmond.” The singer boasted that all of Hank Williams, Sr.’s, ex-wives had hit on him, and claimed to have often had several women in one night, hiding them on different floors of the same hotel. Jennings even tried to pick up newscaster Jane Pauley when she interviewed him on NBC’s “Today Show.”

Getting high became a way of life for Waylon Jennings. The Telecaster Cowboy, as he often referred to himself, ate a couple dozen amphetamines a day for 15 years, citing Johnny Cash, Roger Miller, and himself as “world champion pill-takers.” Loretta Lynn used to walk Jennings around the dressing room when he got too high before a show. A friend finally convinced him to take up cocaine to kick the pills. Over the next decade, Jennings spent $1,500 a day feeding his cocaine habit. He ignored a White House meeting with President Jimmy Carter to do drugs with a Washington Redskins football hero, and he shared his cocaine with members of the Oakland Raiders at halftime while the Raiders were trailing the Chiefs 6-0 during the Kenny Stabler years. The Raiders scored 54 points in the second half to win. Jennings played poker and drank beer with Mother Maybelle Carter, introduced Nashville to the 12-string electric guitar, narrated The Dukes of Hazzard (“I aimed the narration at children and it made it work”), and once had a run-in with Grace Slick while filming a television special, calling her a communist for her criticism of America.

In 1984, he took his fourth wife, Jessi Colter, to Arizona, where the couple leased a house in the desert so that Jennings could end his years of cocaine addiction. Jennings, forever the outlaw, kicked the drug his own unique way. Stashing $20,000 worth of coke on his tour bus parked in the driveway of his temporary desert home in case the cocaine urge got too strong, Jennings quit cold turkey. One of his favorite anti-drug quotes was from former boss Chet Atkins at RCA, Jennings’ record company for over 20 years. “You’ve only got so many beats in your heart. Why shorten the number?” &

Struck by White Lightning

Struck by White Lightning

The hard-livin’ world of George Jones


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George Jones’ personal and career escapades are the stuff of countrymusic legend.

The first five times I went to see George Jones, he didn’t bother to show up. In those days, promoters rarely knew in advance where the unreliable Jones might be come showtime, so road trips became crapshoots. Our enthusiastic, traveling fan club frequently placed bets on whether or not Jones would appear. On one evening in 1981, the Jones’ hit “Tonight, I Just Don’t Give a Damn” blasted from the car stereo as we drove to Meridian, Mississippi, to give him another chance. There at the city auditorium a posted sign read “Tonight’s Concert Canceled.” A friend, who at the time managed the Longbranch Saloon in Avondale, later said that Jones and the band stopped in Birmingham for lunch on the way to Meridian that day. When asked to suggest a nearby place to drink, a waitress at a local barbecue joint recommended the Longbranch. By late afternoon, a Jones band member reminded the entourage that they had a show to play three hours away in Mississippi. An intoxicated Jones merely shrugged and laughed, “Well, it looks like we ain’t gonna make it!”

Jones disappeared on us again 20 years ago in Birmingham. Several thousand waited inside Boutwell Auditorium as his band played Jones’ introduction for the fourth time. Disgusted, the guitarist finally gave up and told the throng, “Looks like George ain’t gonna make it tonight.” The singer reportedly was out of his head drunk at a popular Southside pub the entire time.

As early as 1967, Jones’ roller coaster life of unpredictability began to zoom out of control. According to the biography, George Jones: The Saga of an American Singer, during an alcohol-fueled argument, Jones shoved soon-to-be third wife Tammy Wynette down the aisle of their tour bus. The band had to lock Jones in the back of the bus, which was proudly emblazoned “Mr. & Mrs. Country Music,” eventually letting him out to force him onstage. The singer performed one song, then left, leaving Wynette to finish the show alone. Four days later, he resurfaced to tell her their impending wedding was off. The next morning he woke up sober, found Wynette, and whisked her across the Georgia state line for an impromptu civil wedding ceremony in the aptly named town of Ringgold. It was the third marriage for each.

The five-year marriage was not a pretty sight. Notorious for destroying the couple’s home on more than one occasion, Jones frequently smashed television sets, hurled whiskey bottles, and even once fired a shotgun at Wynette as she fled from their house in the middle of the night in her pajamas. Wynette once hid the keys to Jones’ fleet of luxury automobiles to prevent him from riding into town to his favorite bar. He simply hot-wired his riding lawn mower, to which the keys had also been hidden, and made the 10-mile trek anyway.

Jones’ steady diet of booze, cocaine, and amphetamines soon fueled even more notorious behavior. One night in Mississippi, Jones was pulled over for speeding. Arresting officers reportedly scraped a sizeable quantity of cocaine off the floormat of his Lincoln Continental. Less than 24 hours after his release from jail, the singer lost control of the Lincoln and barrel-rolled down the same Mississippi highway. Jones checked into Hillcrest Hospital in Birmingham soon afterward for rest and evaluation.

By 1980, Jones was homeless, living out of his car and seedy motels. He was once discovered by police after having apparently ridden around for days in a Cadillac littered with whiskey bottles, empty sardine cans, and a life-size cardboard figure of Hank Williams, Sr., sitting upright next to him. Jones eventually created a couple of imaginary friends named “Deedoodle the Duck” and “The Old Man,” imitating their voices (which sounded like Donald Duck and Walter Brennan) as he frequently carried on a three-way conversation with himself, often on stage.

In 1981, the entire country finally got to witness what transpires when George Jones descends into hell. Jones had been pulled over by Tennessee patrolmen for erratic driving. Caught on film by a Nashville television station cameraman driving by, an obviously drunken Jones, hair disheveled and eyes bloodshot, screamed and lunged at the camera crew. He was led away in handcuffs as millions looked on.

George Jones scored his first million seller in 1982 with his signature hit, “He Stopped Loving Her Today.” It was a song he absolutely loathed. His career appeared to be on the rebound until an appearance with Tammy Wynette on “The Tonight Show.” Jones stopped midway through the couple’s duet of “Two-Story House” to confess to the nationwide audience that he couldn’t remember the lyrics.

After three years of trying, I finally saw George Jones in 1984 in Columbus, Georgia. Though inebriated, Jones’ voice was mesmerizing that night, his silver hair sprayed to immaculate perfection. No singer carries a note like Jones. His voice is devoid of the vibrato embraced by most crooners; listeners are treated instead to a pure nasal tenor that has been long-admired by vocal stylists ranging from Frank Sinatra to Waylon Jennings. (Jennings once told a writer curious about the diverse styles in country music, “Hoss, if we could all sound like who we wanted to, we’d all sound like George Jones.”)

Jones finally addressed his drinking problem, and through the ’90s became as reliable as a Chet Atkins guitar lick. An album of duets recorded in 1992 with a variety of musical heavyweights included rock ‘n’ roll’s poster child for decadence, Keith Richards. According to a Nashville recording engineer, Jones was late to the studio reportedly having driven around the city for hours to avoid the temptations that Richards frequently brought to recording sessions. Jones finally showed up just as Richards was wheeling a fully stocked portable bar into the studio (Jones later assessed Richard’s vocal performance as “so odd it sounded good.”).

Then two years ago he crashed his car into a bridge, blaming the wreck on a cell-phone conversation with his daughter. A half-empty bottle of vodka found beneath the Cadillac’s seat told the truth, however. Rushed to the hospital in critical condition, it was doubtful that Jones would survive this latest episode, as his long-abused liver was severely lacerated as a result of the accident. A couple of weeks later he walked out of the hospital, and was performing again in two months.

A friend’s grandmother once encountered Jones in the hallway of University Hospital’s psychiatric unit. It was in the early 1980s during one of the singer’s extended stays in Birmingham to get his life-long demons under control. The old woman stared and excitedly exclaimed, “You’re George Jones!” Jones slowly nodded his head and quietly replied, “Yes, ma’am, I am. And I’m a sick man.” &

George Jones will perform at Looney’s Tavern Amphitheatre in Double Springs, Alabama, on Saturday, September 1, 8:00 p.m. Lawn seats are available for $17.00. Call 1-800-566-6397 or visit www.bham.net/looneys for further info. Looney’s is located at 22400 Hwy 278 East. Jones is also scheduled to perform in Oneonta on October 27 at a venue yet to be announced. Check www.pollstar.com for further announcements.

The Men Who Should Be King

The Men Who Should Be King


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Elvis admirers strike a pose at Graceland.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Elvis Presley must be tossing and turning in his Graceland tomb, wondering where he went wrong. Maybe he’ll rise from the dead one day to set the record straight, but until then, the endless parade of imitation Elvis resurrections will continue to thrive as the most alluring sideshow in American culture.

On Saturday, June 16, an army of Elvis clones will invade the BJCC Ballroom to compete in the inaugural Elvis in Dixieland Impersonator Contest. The winner will jet up Highway 78 to Memphis in August to compete for the title True King in the “Images of Elvis Contest,” the most bizarre event of the sacred vigil known as “Death Week.”

The impersonator contest is sponsored by B&K Enterprises, “a household name in the custom costume world.” Internationally acclaimed for authentic reproductions of Elvis costumes, Elvis jumpsuits, and Elvis accessories, B&K Enterprises employs patterns and techniques handed down from original Elvis-wear designers Bill Belew and Gene Doucette. Jumpsuits go for as high as $4,000, capes up to $2,400, and belts for $350. The company also manufactures Elvis-style eyeglasses by Dennis Roberts, the original designer who created 488 pairs of eyeglasses for the King from 1970 to 1977. Roberts also created Presley’s classic “TCB with lightening bolt” necklace.

The host of the contest will be David Lee, who bills himself as “Birmingham’s Favorite Elvis Entertainer.” Lee is also a member of the Professional Elvis Impersonators Association (PEIA), an international organization that promotes “the advancement of Elvis Presley’s music and Style [sic] throughout the world. PEIA’s code of Ethics includes the promise to “not physically, mentally, psychologically, (or) verbally abuse or slander other performers or members.”

First prize will be $1,000 cash; other prizes include a replica of Elvis’ “Aloha” belt and custom-made “puffy-sleeve” satin shirts from B&K Enterprises. Part of the proceeds from the impersonator contest will benefit Grace House Ministries..” Advance tickets are $4 for adults, and $2 for ages 6 through 12. At the door, it’s $5 for adults.

Glen Campbell

Glen Campbell

There’s no place quite as empty as a 17,000 seat coliseum filled with a couple of thousand chicken farmers, but even that couldn’t faze a rejuvenated Glen Campbell as the singer recently revealed the number one reason his was once a household name-an ability to spot hit songs and make them his own.Campbell, quietly slipping into Birmingham as the featured entertainment for the annual state convention of the Alabama Poultry and Egg Association at the Birmingham Jefferson County Civic Center, effortlessly showed how religion and what appears to be a facelift or two can resurrect the talents of an aging entertainer who has left his fingerprints on everything from pop music and variety television to country singer Tanya Tucker.

Fresh on the heels of her latest hit, “Little Bird,” Australian country songstress Sherrie Austin, the opening act, was ignored for the most part by the subdued audience, finally eliciting a roar of approval when she announced that her mom thinks that anything other than country and western is “drug music.” Less than an hour later, former drug addict Glen Campbell strolled out with an electric guitar and kicked into the unforgettable guitar intro of his 1969 hit “Galveston.” For the next 90 minutes, Campbell dusted off his repertoire of ’60s and ’70s radio classics, wooing a subdued audience that included this year’s inductees into the Alabama Poultry Hall of Fame and the “Alabama Farm Family of the Year.”

Campbell’s voice was remarkably clear and powerful, smoothly snagging the high note that ends each chorus of “Wichita Lineman” and reflecting with melancholy resignation on “By the Time I Get To Phoenix.” His guitar playing was no less impressive, left leg perpetually keeping time like a Las Vegas version of Chuck Berry. His lightening-fast fingers ripped through the Mason Williams’ hit “Classical Gas” and rode the melody of the “William Tell Overture,” never missing a note as he raised the guitar over his head, effortlessly picking the song’s grand finale.

The hits never stopped: “Gentle On My Mind,” “Try a Little Kindness,” “All I Ever Need Is You.” He even brought out daughter Debby, a talented airline attendant who sings with her father on her days off, for a series of duets that found Campbell impressively impersonating everyone from Sonny Bono to Johnny Cash.

Campbell dug into his pockets countless times, sometimes even in the middle of guitar solos, to toss guitar picks into outstretched hands at the foot of the stage. And he didn’t think twice about abandoning the microphone in the middle of his 1968 hit “The Dreams of the Everyday Housewife” to kneel down at the front of the stage, wrapping his arm around grinning women as he smiled for photos, joking with the ladies, “Is your husband here tonight?” His stage persona was so relaxed it was as if he were entertaining at home in his living room, constantly singing bits and occasional pieces of songs, only to give up as he laughed and said he couldn’t remember the words. He was even tuning his 12-string guitar as he sang the opening verses to the 1977 hit “Southern Nights.”

Checking his watch for about the fifth time, Campbell bemoaned the lack of good tunes in modern music. He took a couple of jabs at the country music establishment, saying he didn’t play any of that “line dancing garbage” before noting that Nashville record executives were a “bunch of schmucks.” With that off his chest, Campbell finally brought the audience to their feet with a rousing “Rhinestone Cowboy,” took one final bow, and caught a midnight jet so he could play a round of golf in a charity tournament early the next morning. &