Category Archives: Birmingham

Loretta Lynn

By Ed Reynolds

Loretta Lynn has always cherished her role as a rebel in the country music industry. In perhaps the oddest collaboration in Nashville’s storied history, Lynn’s newest release, Van Lear Rose, was produced by rocker Jack White of The White Stripes (the band dedicated its third album, White Blood Cells, to Lynn, and White has called her the greatest female singer/songwriter of the 20th century). The result is the most gloriously unrefined recording of Lynn’s long career. White’s signature guitar is evident throughout the CD, especially his red-hot slide work. He even joins Lynn at the microphone on “Portland, Oregon,” a charming duet about a drunken one-night stand, an endearing track since White is 28 while Lynn is 70 years old.

An afternoon telephone conversation with Lynn that took place before her new album was recorded reveals a woman completely unaffected by notoriety. Lynn sounds as though she were still a Butcher Holler farm girl, speaking in a rural dialect that contradicts her stardom. The singer doesn’t pull any punches. Hit her once and she’ll hit back twice. Her husband Doolittle’s (Doo) philandering and chronic alcoholism provoked more than a few violent episodes during their 48-year marriage. She knocked two of his front teeth out one night, pleased as she could be that his cheating was put to rest until he could get new teeth. Their marriage is tumultuously detailed in her second autobiography Still Woman Enough, an entertaining but brutally honest account of Lynn’s life as one of America’s greatest country music performers.

Loretta Lynn

. . . Lynn told Sinatra it was the worst song she’d ever heard and suggested they sing “Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man.” Sinatra told her when she had her own television show she could sing whatever she wanted.

Lynn literally defines country. The names of her children read like a hillbilly sitcom: Betty Sue, Ernest Ray, Patsy, Cissie, and Jack Benny. Married at age 13 in Kentucky coal-mining country, Lynn and her husband moved to Washington State a year later so Doo could pan for gold and Loretta could pick strawberries. Though noting there were anecdotes in her autobiography that she couldn’t have written if her husband were still alive, Lynn is unwavering in her devotion to the man directly responsible for her success. Doo convinced Loretta to sing in Northwest honky tonks despite her severe stage fright. Lynn began to build a following in Canada but noticed that her most loyal fans were suddenly absent for a couple of months. When she finally confronted them about where they’d been, they explained that they had given up Loretta for Lent. The singer said the only “Lent” she was familiar with was the kind that gets on your clothes. Doo later chauffeured her on a blitz tour of radio stations around the country to convince disc jockeys to play her first single “I’m a Honky Tonk Girl.” And it was her husband who got her on the Grand Ole Opry after her first record entered the charts. She was invited to sing on the Opry for the next 17 weeks, receiving $18 per night (with three additional bucks if she sang an extra song).

Being an Opry star didn’t change Lynn much. She continued to slaughter her barnyard chickens for dinner and shop for material at the Salvation Army thrift store to make her own stage outfits. She was once chastised by a ranking Opry official who saw her coming out of the store. He told her it “cast a bad light on the Opry when local folks saw the show’s singers acting like poor people.” She didn’t know how to use a credit card until Conway Twitty instructed her in the late 1970s.

Influenced by nothing more than Saturday night Grand Ole Opry broadcasts and her delight in rhyming words with siblings as a child, Lynn displayed a remarkable ability for writing songs. “Doo got me a book that showed how you wrote ‘em. It was called Country Roundup, I think. I just looked at the songs and I said, ‘Anybody can do this.’ The first spanking Doo ever give me was because I rhymed a word. And it rhymed with door—you know what it was—and I didn’t know what it meant. It was raining and cold and he let the door open and I said, ‘Shut the door you little. . . .’ And I got a whippin’ for that—and he’d promised Daddy he’d never put a hand on me. And that was the next day after he’d married me. He throwed me over his knee and busted my butt.”

In 1963, the singer was asked by her childhood idol Ernest Tubb to record a series of duets. “I never dreamed I’d ever sing with him, ’cause when Daddy had that little radio, we’d listen to the Grand Ole Opry on Saturday night and the news, ’cause the war was goin’ on. But I’d start to cry when Ernest Tubb started to sing. And Mama would say, ‘I’m gonna turn the radio off if you don’t quit cryin’.’” Tubb was instrumental in establishing Lynn as a country institution. “When I come to Nashville, MCA Records, which was Decca at the time, they asked Ernest to record with a girl. And he said he wanted to record with me. He did so much for me. The last time I sang with him, it was like standin’ up by a big monument. I even went to Billy Bob’s [famed Fort Worth bar, the largest honky-tonk in the world] and did a show for him to buy medicine with, ’cause he had run out of money. He helped everybody in Nashville, but no one would go help him.”

But it was her series of duets with Conway Twitty that placed Lynn on the same “classic duo” pedestal occupied by George Jones and Tammy Wynette. “Yeah, I loved Conway. He was like a brother, and he would give me advice. If he thought I wasn’t doing things right, he’d tell me, ‘This is how you do it,’ and I’d say, ‘No, that’s how you do it. This is how I’d do it,’” she laughs. Their string of soap-opera-style hits included “Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man,” “You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly,” and “Backstreet Affair.” In a strange twist of fate, Conway Twitty unexpectedly died with Lynn at his bedside in a Missouri hospital in 1991 after Twitty was overcome with a stomach aneurysm while touring the Midwest. He was rushed to the nearest hospital, where Lynn happened to be waiting as Doo recovered from open-heart surgery. She thought that Twitty had decided to drop by to visit her husband. “I watched Conway’s bus come off the exit. I run downstairs to let him know what room Doo was in, and they come draggin’ him in. Blood’s comin’ out of his mouth and his eyes was tryin’ to focus on me and he couldn’t. I almost fell out right there. The chaplain came in and told me that Conway would not live through the night, so he told me if I wanted to see him I should go on back there. I went in his room and patted him on the arm and said, ‘Conway, you love to sing, honey, don’t you leave me.’”

Staunchly defiant, Lynn was a fly in the conservative ointment of the Nashville music industry. She was the first to write and sing about women’s issues. “The Pill” was the first of several of her songs to be banned, but Lynn was smart enough to recognize a marketing opportunity as women flocked to her side. “It’s all because I’d get down and talk to the women. All of ‘em were taking the pill and they weren’t wearin’ bras [pronounced 'braws']. Everybody was taking the pill, why not talk about it. Everybody was havin’ kids just like I was, why not say, ‘One’s on the way.’ I couldn’t understand why the public was worried about my songs. And when ‘Rated X’ come out, just the title of it, they started banning the record. And they didn’t listen to it. It was about a divorced woman. Nothin’ in it was bad. When ‘Don’t Come Home a-Drinkin” come out, the big 50-watt [sic] station in Chicago didn’t play it, ’cause they thought it was dirty. It went number one, they started playin’ it.”
Loretta Lynn’s music was a stark contrast to Tammy Wynette’s songs that advised women to stick with their man, regardless. Ironically, Wynette went through five husbands, while Lynn’s only husband was Doo. “Tammy Wynette was outspoken about standing by her man, and I’d done hit mine over the head with a rollin’ pin,” Lynn laughs. “Tammy said, ‘I’d be afraid to sing that, afraid they wouldn’t play my record.’ But it didn’t hurt me. They’d ban ‘em and they’d go number one.” Lynn took Wynette under her wing when she arrived in Nashville, just as Patsy Cline had done for her when Lynn first moved to town as an unknown. “Oh, Tammy was my best girlfriend. First girlfriend I had, except Patsy. I never did get that close to all the artists. All of ‘em have their own way of doin’ things, and I think they kinda stayed away from me because of the songs I wrote. They shoulda liked ‘em, they might’ve rubbed off on ‘em. They could’ve wrote their own.”

Lynn also didn’t think twice about crossing racial divides. “When Charlie Pride won Singer of the Year, I was the one that was supposed to give the award. So they said, ‘Loretta, if Charlie wins, step back one foot and don’t touch him.’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearin’ ’cause I’d been livin’ on the West Coast for 13 or 14 years,” Lynn remembers, still appalled. “Charlie is just another singer to me. When it comes to color, I’m colorblind, ’cause I’m part Cherokee. So when Charlie won, I stepped up and hugged him and kissed him. They got a little upset about it. I thought, ‘Well, Charlie shouldn’t even sing for ‘em if that’s the way they feel about him.’”

One of her champions in Nashville was the Carter Family, who at one time asked her to join the group. Lynn refused because she felt she couldn’t sing their harmonies properly. She remembers trying to get a sulking Johnny Cash on stage. “Poor little ol’ Johnny. They couldn’t get him out on stage. Johnny Cash has always been good to me. He was the first one that took me out of Nashville on a tour. Him and the Carter Family, we went to Toronto and Ontario [sic]. He was not having too good a night. Mother Maybelle, June . . . they were all mad at him. I said, ‘Come on, baby, it’s time for you to go on.’ He jerked his coat down and there was a bottle of pills—a hundred-aspirin bottle of pills, but it wasn’t aspirin. I didn’t know what they was ’cause I’d never seen a diet pill in my life. And they went all over the floor and they was all different colors. And Johnny said, ‘Don’t leave any,’ and I sat down on that floor and picked up every pill and put them back.”

Refusing to sway from her convictions, Loretta Lynn has remained her own woman. Her forthright honesty provoked a showdown with Frank Sinatra, who invited Lynn to duet on what had been his first hit, “All or Nothing at All.” She told Sinatra it was the worst song she’d ever heard and suggested they sing “Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man.” Sinatra told her when she had her own television show she could sing whatever she wanted.

Her simple approach to life and refusal to bow to showbiz expectations also left a lasting impression on Dean Martin. Martin had been so taken with the Carter Family’s performance on his show that he asked them to recommend another Nashville artist. They suggested Lynn, who refused to sit in Martin’s lap, as was customary when he sang duets with female performers. Instead of being offended, Martin decided her spunk was the perfect ingredient to spice up the “Dean Martin’s Celebrity Roast” show featuring Jack Lemmon. Lynn picks up the story in her autobiography: “Well, I’d never heard of a ‘roast.’ I thought Dean Martin was inviting me to dinner with his Hollywood friends. So I dressed up real nice. They made a special dress for me out of material flown from Paris, France. I couldn’t understand why they wanted me to eat in that fancy dress. They made me read from a Teleprompter and I told Dean I was scared to death and didn’t read so good. But I didn’t have a choice. I was stuck. Making me feel worse, I started in saying the most awful things about Jack Lemmon. I didn’t know they was jokes. So each time I said something, I turned to Jack and said, ‘I didn’t mean that, honey. I don’t even know you. I’m just saying what’s on that there card.’” &

Loretta Lynn performs at the Blockbuster stage on Sunday, June 20, from 8:40 p.m. to 9:55 p.m.

Editor’s note: After this issue went to press, Loretta Lynn cancelled her tour due to back problems. She will not appear at this year’s City Stages.


Beauty and the Beasts

Beauty and the Beasts

 

On Saturday, May 1, at Oak Mountain State Park, pug owners will shamelessly dress up their ugly little dogs in a wild array of colors and fabrics for the annual pug beauty contest at Pugs On Parade 2004. The annual event is a fund-raiser sponsored by Alabama Pug Rescue and Adoption, and will be held at the fishing center in the park from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Until you’ve seen pugs all dolled up in silk, cashmere, organza, or crushed velvet, you don’t know what true beauty there is to behold in this world. For more information, call 205-688-3324 or visit www.alabamapugrescue.org. &

King of the Road

 

King of the Road

A hitchhiker’s memories of a bygone era.

 

 

Many years ago, there was no greater freedom than standing on the side of a highway with an extended thumb, hoping (and sometimes praying) that the next vehicle roaring past would stop to transport me a little closer to my destination. Hitchhiking was pretty exciting, fairly reliable, and an expense-free method of going from town to town when my car was deemed not road-worthy.

I was initiated into the world of hitchhiking during the summer of 1975, when bumming rides became my only mode of getting to work each day. I was selling Bible reference books and study guides door-to-door in the summer student program for Southwestern Company out of Nashville, and the company had assigned two students and me to the Athens, Ohio, area. They had automobiles, but I didn’t. Each day, I was up at 6 a.m., walking to a nearby county road where I hitched rides through a three-county area to peddle my Bible wares.

We arrived at a trailer in the middle of the south Mississippi woods where the drummer lived. The guy had hooks instead of hands, but he drummed like a champ.

On July 4, I got my one and only ride from the law. An early ’70s Opel Cadet with a municipal tag pulled over, and a man in a floral-print shirt and Bermuda shorts climbed out and flashed a badge. He was the constable of Nelsonville, Ohio, and he asked to see my peddler’s license. Not having one, I was placed under arrest and taken to the mayor’s house, where a barbecue was underway. As I stood in the mayor’s kitchen watching her stir a pot of beans, she informed me that if I purchased a peddler’s license I would be “set free.” I forked over my $25, the mayor wrote out a license on the kitchen table, and I was pointed back toward the road without so much as an offer to join them for lunch—or a ride back to the road.

The brother of my best friend in Selma died of leukemia later that year after their family had moved to Dothan. I got a ride out of Auburn the morning of the funeral, but getting picked up on the Montgomery bypass is an arduous endeavor. Dothan is a good two hours from Montgomery, and I found myself 120 miles away from a funeral that was scheduled to start in 90 minutes.

I had almost abandoned my plans and decided to head back to Auburn when a black Trans Am pulled over. I told the driver of my predicament, and suddenly I was frozen in my seat as we zoomed south at 100 mph. He dropped me off at a traffic light just inside the Dothan city limits, with the service scheduled to start in 15 minutes. From out of nowhere, I heard my mother shout my name. The church I had attended with my best friend in Selma had sent a van with my mom and a half dozen others to Dothan for the funeral, and it was waiting at the stoplight three cars behind the Trans Am. Mom always insisted that God had arranged the Trans Am ride, but I had my doubts.

By spring 1975 I found myself mesmerized by English sheepdogs after seeing the movie Serpico. A week later, I grabbed a couple of weeks’ pay saved from my dorm cafeteria job and went to the highway to come to Birmingham to purchase a sheepdog I’d found in the “puppies for sale” section of a Birmingham newspaper. A guy in an old pickup truck stopped for me after I had gotten on the north side of Montgomery, but 10 or so miles later he started asking intimate, suggestive questions. I yelled at him to let me out immediately or else, so he pulled over near the Millbrook exit. I bolted.

 

 

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Half an hour later, another man offered a ride, asking, “Can you drive a stickshift?” He was carrying a gun, and a parole officer identification badge was mounted on his chest. I got behind the wheel while he dozed for 45 minutes. When he awoke, we began to chat. He told me he had spent the weekend in Dothan. I told him I had friends in Dothan who once lived in Selma, and he asked in shock, “Their name wasn’t Hartzog, was it?” I said yeah, it was, and, sure enough, he had spent the weekend with my Selma buddy and his family. We marveled at how tiny the world was before he dropped me near the farm where I bought an eight-week-old English sheepdog puppy.

The return trip was a breeze. Instead of sticking out my thumb, I merely had to cradle the puppy I’d named Sebastian in my arms. Four rides later I was back in Auburn. Two of the rides had been from women—the only time that has ever happened on my hitchhiking journeys. I later told my mom about the guy who had stayed with the Hartzogs giving me a ride, and she insisted that it was God who told the guy to stop. Again, I had my doubts.

Among my fondest hitchhiking memories are several rides that took me from Birmingham to New Orleans to visit my brother. On one such trip, my first lift got me to the Mississippi state line. I had taken a guitar along, as I had a theory that a guy toting a guitar case looked relatively harmless. It began to drizzle, so I made a mad dash for an overpass that I could see about a half mile down the highway. There I found another hitchhiker with a guitar, so we sat and played together for about a half-hour until the rain stopped.

Eventually, I walked further and got a ride from a drunken middle-aged man in a car loaded with six young children. He explained that he had kidnapped the kids from his alcoholic ex-wife. The children stared at me wide-eyed as the fellow sipped from a bottle of Thunderbird. He offered me a drink, but having experienced a Thunderbird hangover once in my life, I declined. Finally, he started crying and began to confess how screwed up his life had become. Suddenly, he told me that he knew he couldn’t take care of his children and he had decided to take them back to their mother. I thanked him when he let me out and contemplated calling the cops at the exit where I had been dropped off, but decided it was not a good idea because I might be implicated in the kidnapping.

An 18-wheeler stopped for me around mid-afternoon—the only time in my life I was ever picked up by a trucker. I’ll never forget sitting in the cab of a tractor-trailer, high above the highway with a commanding view as we bounced down the road. After stopping at a McDonald’s where the trucker bought me lunch, we were again headed west when we spied a young couple and their three children stranded beside a broken-down automobile. The family climbed into the cab with us. The wife sat in the husband’s lap in the passenger seat as I crawled into the sleeper behind the driver with the three kids. The couple thanked the trucker profusely, and repeatedly told us we were “angels sent from God” to rescue them. We dropped them off in Laurel, Mississippi, and went on our way, but half an hour later the trucker began to chat with a woman on his CB radio. “What you haulin’, Mexican Cowboy?” the woman asked. “A big ol’ load of smelly fish,” the Hispanic trucker replied (which he was indeed carrying). The trucker pulled off at the next exit for a rendezvous with the woman, who promised to meet him at a local motel, sight unseen. “This is as far as you go, boy,” he told me with a grin, adding that he “really liked her voice.”

I jumped down from the towering cab and headed toward Hattiesburg, 20 miles down the highway. It was getting dark by this time, and a fellow in a pickup truck stopped for me. He was immediately interested in my guitar and told me he had just gotten off work and was going to a band rehearsal. He invited me to come play with his group, and for some reason, I foolishly said yes. We arrived at a trailer in the middle of the south Mississippi woods where the drummer lived. The guy had hooks instead of hands, but he drummed like a champ. I felt as though I’d been dropped into an episode of “The Twilight Zone.” We played for a couple of hours, and since they appeared to be decent folks, I felt no reason to fear for my life.

The guitar player who had picked me up invited me to stay at his house with his wife and two young sons for the evening, as it was now after 10 p.m. When we arrived at his home all hell broke loose, with me cast as the villain. He had gone into the bedroom with his wife, and I could hear her shouting, “What the hell are you doing bringing this stranger to our house? He could be a serial killer!” The guy emerged from the room to tell me his wife was terrified of me and that I was welcome to sleep on an air mattress in the back of his truck unless I wanted him to take me back to the highway. I opted for the highway at midnight, three hours from New Orleans. Two hours went by and no one stopped, so I climbed a fence and tried to sleep in a field. Back on the highway, I walked several miles before getting a ride to Slidell, Louisiana.

It was an hour before sunrise when an offshore oil-rig laborer picked me up on his way to work. Talking nonstop in a thick Cajun dialect, the toothless fellow began to preach to me about Jesus and the many sins that the Lord had removed from his life. He had once raised champion pit bulldogs, which had ruled Louisiana dog-fighting rings, and had been a heroin addict for 10 years. Detailing the desperation of his life as a junkie, he told of his daily struggle to score enough dope to feed his addiction. He spoke of how badly his wife and children had suffered, and how he had lost all of his friends. Then one day Jesus appeared to him while the junkie oil-rig laborer was lying in bed going through withdrawals. He never wanted heroin again.

“Praise Jesus!” he began to shout as we rode over Lake Pontchartrain, the sun coming up in the rearview mirror. Suddenly, he grew very quiet and serious as he turned to me and said, “You know, buddy, there’s a lot of bad things in this world that Jesus don’t like, things that Jesus will save you from if you’ll only invite Him into your life.” As I nodded in agreement, he grinned and whispered, “But there’s one thing that Jesus don’t mind.” And with that, he pulled a joint from behind his ear. All I could think about through the cloudy haze and lovely sunrise was that perhaps my mom had been right all along about the Lord and the kindness of strangers. &

Staff writer Ed Reynolds currently drives a 2001 Dodge Stratus.

The Set List — 2004-03-25

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The Set List

 

Shades Mountain Air featuring Glenn Tolbert
Shades Mountain Air is a local bluegrass/gospel combo led by Gary Furr, pastor of Vestavia Hills Baptist Church and a former guitar student of local bluegrass picker Glenn Tolbert. The group will be joined by Tolbert for an evening of bluegrass standards and mournful gospel favorites. Tolbert, who currently teaches guitar to employees at U.S. Steel in Fairfield, is looking forward to performing some of the more tragic sacred tunes. Anyone who has heard him sing can testify that Tolbert’s nasal tenor is tailor-made for such distressingly hopeless songs. He’s particularly fond of a funeral number called “Who Will Sing for Me?,” a lonely lament that prompts Tolbert to reflect on his many years of performing, and, ultimately, the day he is laid to rest. He’s so moved by the lyrics he can’t resist reciting a verse during a recent telephone conversation: “Oft I sing for my friends, when death’s cold hand I see. When I reach my journey’s end, who will sing one song for me? When crowds gather round and look down on me, will they turn and walk away? Or will they sing just one song for me?” (Tuesday, March 30, Moonlight Music Café, 8 p.m. $8.) —Ed Reynolds
The Marshall Tucker Band
No band better epitomized Southern rock during the late 1970s than The Marshall Tucker Band. It was the era of the “extended jam,” when the most endearing route to an audience’s heart was an eternal guitar solo, song after song. Marshall Tucker’s contribution to the genre was the lightning fast, bare-picking thumb of guitarist Toy Caldwell, who soared through jazzed-up country leads that seemed to go on forever. Caldwell doesn’t play those long solos anymore because he’s dead, just like his brother Tommy, with whom he started the group in 1972. Singer Doug Gray is the lone original member remaining in the band. His belting vocals will no doubt create nostalgia for those nights when Tucker classics like “Can’t You See,” “Take the Highway,” “Fire on the Mountain,” and “24 Hours at a Time” filled Boutwell Auditorium’s rafters, right along with the aroma of dope. (Friday, April 2, The Yellow Rose. $15.) —E.R.

Lonestar/Jimmy Wayne
We’re coming up on 10 years of Lonestar, meaning that they’ve outlasted their contemporaries in *NSync. They were much cuter back when they all dressed like the Cowboy from the Village People, though. Sometimes, you should just ignore Q”ueer Eye for the Straight Guy”‘s Carson Kressley. So, let’s see . . . boy band comparison, made fun of their clothes . . . oh, yeah, they actually remade Marc Cohn’s “Walking in Memphis” into the kind of manly street version that made Cher’s version sound, in comparison, like it was sung by Bob Dylan.

But, of course, Lonestar’s greatest sin is that they give guys such as Steve Earle and Elvis Costello the chance to bitch and whine about the country scene. But those guys are just envious that they’re not as handsome as opening act Jimmy Wayne, who believes his rough childhood allows him to sound really manly as he pleads with you to love him. (Friday, April 2, Alabama Theatre, 8 p.m. $39.50.) —J.R. Taylor

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The Marshall Tucker Band (click for larger version)

Slipknot/Fear Factory
I prefer bands patterned after the film 2000 Maniacs rather than Neon Maniacs, but you can’t help what those suburban kids once stumbled across on cable back in the early-’90s. At least it’s easy to believe that the members of Slipknot could also be killed by water. They bring some nice hooks to their plundering of death metal. And you have to go see them live, because you’ll feel stupid cranking them up in your car stereo anytime before 3 a.m.

Fear Factory, however, is an unjustly overlooked act that probably gave Slipknot the idea of toning down the ambition and upping the wardrobe. They’re (mostly) back after a very short break-up, more than likely spurred by the realization that few musicians share their commitment to finding beauty among the “possessed demon” vocal sound of which death metal bands are so fond. (Friday, April 2, Sloss Furnaces, 7:30 p.m. $29.50) —J.R. Taylor

Amy Rigby
Nobody had a bigger audience to tap than Amy Rigby in the mid-’90s, as her albums Diary of a Mod Housewife and Middlescence examined the plight of aging hipsters torn between the lure of traditional happiness and the restraints of a fabulous lifestyle. The suddenly single mom didn’t have to revamp her style, either, since she’d spent the ’80s as a pioneering urban-country popster. Rigby simply had to grow into the shambles that she once adored. A move to Nashville, however, has reduced her to being great only on every third song. Until the Wheels Fall Off managed to be one of last year’s best albums, but she’s clearly outgrown the Americana handbook. Rigby is still underrated as a vocalist, though, and her sharp wordplay remains more honest than clever. (Saturday, April 3, Moonlight Music Cafe, 8 p.m. $10.) —J.R. Taylor

Emerson Hart (of Tonic)
Well, the billing is certainly a good way to teach people the name of the lead singer of Tonic. That band was so faceless that nobody even noticed when they attempted a big sell-out with their Head On Straight album in 2002. Emerson Hart had already relocated to Nashville, too, which is usually a move made by songwriters who age more gracefully—like, you know, Seals & Crofts. Anyway, Tonic is still a band, and remain best known for forgettable ballads that bask in big rock settings. Those songs touched many people, and $5 is certainly a reasonable price to hear how those tunes sound better in stripped-down versions. (Tuesday, April 6, The Nick, 8 p.m. $5.) —J.R. Taylor

Kate Campbell
Her narrow view of the South guides Kate Campbell’s assurances that you are truly, truly stupid—unless, of course, you’re in her audience, in which case you are assured that you’re nearly as fabulous as Kate Campbell. Why, you can even watch her marvel at just how pathetic people are with their miserable little dreams. This former Samford University student doesn’t like how Birmingham looks, either, but who cares? Campbell’s the kind of woman who’ll show up in your living room and complain about how your Bible isn’t dusty enough. One of her recent lousy albums is called Monuments, and has tombstones for sale on the cover. (Thursday, April 8, Workplay, 8 p.m. $20.) —J.R. Taylor &

Russian Roulette — Cahaba River

2004-01-29 tracking City Hall

Can the Cahaba River survive another commercial development? The Birmingham City Council and the Mayor’s office proudly declare that they don’t know and don’t care.

“This could be absolutely the most important decision that we make in our lives,” warned Councilor Carol Reynolds at the January 13 Birmingham City Council meeting. The list of problems that plague the Cahaba River, the drinking source for 25 percent of Alabama residents, includes low oxygen levels, high bacteria levels, and toxins such as metals, insecticides, and herbicides. “Higher water purification costs will increase costs for rate payers,” Reynolds added.

Her colleagues on the council dais, however, refused to budge from their determination to boost the city’s economic fortunes—even if that means the degradation of the river. Voting 6 to 3 [Reynolds, Councilor Valerie Abbott, and Councilor Joel Montgomery opposed the project] to approve the development of 256 acres into a subdivision in the Overton Community by Grants Mill Estates, LLC., the council joined surrounding municipalities in another round of Russian roulette with one of the nation’s cleanest (for now) water systems.

The development will include 281 single-family homes and 14 apartment buildings (totalling 464 units). Originally, developers wanted to include a service station on the land that is part of the Cahaba watershed, but at least the city had enough sense to make them toss out that idea. Other concessions from the developers include retaining vegetation along Grants Mill Road and expanding a 50-foot buffer zone protecting tributaries of the Cahaba to 100 feet.

“This project is going to discharge dirt into a tributary and then into the Cahaba River,” said Alabama Environmental Council attorney Bart Slawson, who has threatened to sue over the development because of permit violations regarding the amount of sediment allowed into the river. “The bells and whistles [in the covenants protecting the Cahaba] will not change the discharge.” The position of the Alabama Environmental Council is that the Cahaba River cannot tolerate any more sediment. The river is currently listed by the Environmental Protection Agency [EPA] and Alabama Department of Environmental Management [ADEM] as so polluted already by sediment that any additional pollution will severely impact water quality, according to an e-mail sent by Slawson to the City Council.

A recent meeting between the developers, the council, and other city officials, to ensure that steps are taken to protect the Cahaba, exposed some bitter truths regarding Councilor Elias Hendricks’ willingness to exclude the public from meetings with councilors [any meeting with a quorum of the Council present is an open meeting, unless the meeting is declared an executive session involving litigation or discussion of someone's character]. Hendricks criticized councilors at a council meeting two weeks earlier for urging the public to attend the meeting with developers. “When you’re working out differences, the fewer people involved, the better. It’s not like you’re hiding anything from the public,” said Hendricks with a straight face. “When you’re sitting down, trying to negotiate a solution, and you’re going to be dealing with scientific things, I think the fewer people in the room, the better.” Hendricks did not explain why the public should not be privy to “scientific things,” but then, condescension is the norm at City Hall. As usual, a flippant Councilor Bert Miller could not resist sticking his foot in his mouth. “We act like these developers are terrorists. They’re not going to poison our drinking water!”

Also at issue is the $250,000 that Birmingham and surrounding municipalities contributed to the Upper Cahaba Watershed Study. The Zoning Committee, chaired by Councilor Abbott, had recommended that the council wait until the study is completed in the spring before acting on the development. Councilor Reynolds questioned why so much money was spent if the study was just going to be ignored. “We have just funded a study and taken taxpayer dollars and thrown them out the window,” said Reynolds in disgust. “It is our responsibility to protect public health and public drinking water.”

In an interview after the council action had been taken, Mayor Bernard Kincaid agreed with Council President Lee Loder’s assessment that development in the Cahaba watershed was inevitable. “How does Birmingham balance those very, very competing interests of development, which are absolutely necessary for us to grow, and yet protect what is one of the highest quality water systems in the nation?” asked the Mayor. “That’s a tough call. At some point Birmingham has to get in the mix.” With absolutely no hint of irony, Kincaid described the balance between economic development and water protection as “a kind of ecological balance.” After admitting that he was “comfortable” with the conditions his staff reached with developers regarding the watershed protection, Kincaid seemed to contradict himself. “Where the need for development and preserving the pristine quality of the water intersect is the point where you start making compromises,” said the Mayor. “And I’m not sure that we can compromise the water quality at all.”

Kincaid disagreed with Councilor Reynolds that the $250,000 spent for the Upper Cahaba Watershed Study was a waste of money. Insisting that Birmingham has done more than other local jurisdictions to protect the Cahaba River, Kincaid said, “I don’t hear other municipalities being pushed back from their development ideas based on the outcome of something as nebulous as a study.” This statement begs the question, why spend $250,000 on a study if one believes studies are nebulous? &

The Jet Set

The Jet Set


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Hurley Haywood has been racing automobiles, namely Porsches, for more than 30 years. Having won the 24 Hours of Le Mans three times and the 24 Hours of Daytona five times, Haywood is revered as one of the greatest endurance racing champions ever. “Because I’ve won Le Mans so many times, when I walk down the street [in Europe], people come up and ask me for my autograph,” says Haywood. “Whereas in the States, nobody knows me unless I’m in a racetrack environment.” The racing champion’s cool, professional demeanor doesn’t mask his excitement as he preps his Brumos Porsche Daytona Prototype for the Rolex 250 Grand American race on Sunday, May 18, the first public event at the new Barber Motorsports Park racetrack.

“It’s a fantastic facility,” gushes Haywood, who also serves as chief instructor at the track’s Porsche Driving Experience, a driving school that leases the track several days each week (after moving from the world-renowned Sebring and Road Atlanta racetracks). “We haven’t had a brand new [road racing] facility built in the United States in probably 20 years. And when I first laid my eyes on that racetrack I knew it was going to be a special place. . . . Technically, it is one of the most difficult racetracks I’ve ever been on anywhere in the world.” The 2.3-mile road course has been compared to Europe’s finest road tracks, and it has sports-car aficionados salivating.

Haywood won his first 24 Hours of Daytona race in 1973, when he teamed with Brumos Porsche racing team founder Peter Gregg. “Peter Perfect,” Haywood recalls with a laugh. “He was a real detail-oriented person. Every single bit was planned and practiced. Nothing was left to chance. He was better prepared than everybody else . . . he set the standard.” Gregg purchased Brumos Motors in 1965 and built it into the top Porsche dealership in the nation. An eye injury later eroded his driving skills and he took his own life in 1980. Before Haywood, the legendary Gregg briefly teamed up with another co-driver, a Birmingham dairy and real estate tycoon named George Barber who is, by all accounts, as much a perfectionist as Peter Gregg was. Barber co-drove a Porsche 904 with Gregg at the 12 Hours of Sebring and 24 Hours of Daytona races in the late 1960s. The number 59 white Brumos Porsche is as familiar to road-racing fans as the late Dale Earnhardt’s black number 3 Chevrolet is to NASCAR devotees. Barber later met Haywood when he purchased a couple of motorcycles from the Le Mans racing legend. Barber is also the high-rolling businessman who shelled out $54 million to build the Barber Motorsports Park.

Chauffeuring a reporter around his new facility as the driving school’s silver Porsche 911 sports cars zip around the track, George Barber laughs at how he has been portrayed in the press. “For so long, I was a magnate, a mogul, a king, a baron . . . now I’m a magnate again.” Barber invited AMA Superbike champion Aaron Yates to test the track’s surface with his racing motorcycle. Yates told Barber that the track was better than 90 percent of the tracks he had driven on, and the racer pointed out a couple of minor flaws in the surface. Rather than repair the blemishes, Barber the perfectionist had the entire 2.3 miles repaved. After another test run, Yates pronounced it the best surface he had ever raced on.

In 1989, Barber began collecting and restoring classic sports cars. Motorcycles soon followed. “Cars are a beautiful paint job with hubcaps, but you can’t easily see the engine, the suspension,” he says, explaining his fascination with motorcycles. The Barber Vintage Motorsports Museum has the largest collection of motorcycles in the world, showcasing over 850 motorcycles and race cars. It first opened in 1995 near the Lakeview district in downtown Birmingham, drawing 10,000 visitors yearly (despite being open only two days a week). The new four-story, 141,000-square-foot facility includes a 72-seat theater, a machine shop, and a restoration shop with observation areas. Any motorcycle in the museum can be run on the track with a couple of hours preparation time, and a bike can almost be built from scratch at the shop. Barber was the largest contributor of motorcycles to the Art of the Motorcycle exhibit at the Guggenheim Museum in 1998. “The main purpose of the track is to feed the museum,” which Barber expects to draw 250,000 visitors annually.

The racetrack grounds reflect the reportedly $2 million spent on landscaping. Rhododendrons, azaleas, dogwoods, and magnolia trees share the grounds with giant spider and ant sculptures that are eerily reminiscent of creatures from a sci-fi film. One gargantuan insect clutches a mannequin in a racing uniform. Perhaps it’s Barber’s dig at environmentalists who protested runoff into Cahaba River tributaries during construction. Or maybe it’s just a little dark humor from a wealthy, idiosyncratic man who enthuses over his racetrack as if he was a kid with the world’s greatest slot car set. The natural amphitheater setting offers a Sunday afternoon picnic atmosphere for race patrons, who are encouraged to bring folding chairs and blankets. Barber frowns on notions of building a permanent grandstand. “I don’t want people confined to 18 inches of concrete.” The track layout was designed by preeminent racetrack designer Alan Wilson, who notes that the Barber facility has “a British garden party sort of atmosphere.”

But Porsche is the million-dollar name here (the Porsche Driving Experience school costs $1,600 per day). The German sports car has long been a badge of wealth and adventure for automobile enthusiasts. For example, one of Porsche’s latest models is a Carrera GT (Grand Touring) car that may be purchased off the showroom floor, ready-to-race, for $350,000—$400,000. According to Porsche officials, the sports car’s aim is to “bring the driver of the Carrera GT as close as possible to a full-blown racetrack experience on the road [zero-to-62 mph in 3.9 seconds, zero-to-124 mph in 9.9 seconds].” The Barber facility is where Porsche unveiled its Cayenne sport utility vehicle ($55,000 to $88,000, depending on whether one desires a turbo engine) and every Porsche dealer in the country has visited the park.

The Barber 250 race will be the feature event at the park the weekend of May 16 through 18. The Grand Am race includes the Daytona Prototype racers sharing the track with two classes of Grand Touring cars in the weekend’s feature event. The Prototypes are futuristic, closed-cockpit, tube-framed coupes that have engines built by Porsche, Ford, Toyota, and Chevrolet. The Grand Touring sports cars include BMWs, Ferraris, and Corvettes. The Barber Park Twin 250s in the Grand Am Cup series, featuring two Grand Sport and two Sport Touring classes, will also be staged. Other races in the weekend schedule include a FranAm event, a developmental league for drivers trying to make it to the Indy Racing League, and the CART champ car series. FranAm features Formula Renault open-wheel race cars that look similar to Indy cars.

The Saturday race feature at Barber will be of particular interest to NASCAR fans. It’s the Stock Car Championship Series (SCCS), a racing league “that combines the excitement of stock car racing with the driving challenge of world class road course venues,” according to SCCS officials. The goal is to bring new fans to road racing, and the SCCS has joined the Grand American circuit as a support race during the 2003 season in order to reach a larger audience. SCCS cars include the Chevrolet Monte Carlo, Pontiac Grand Prix, Ford Taurus, and the Dodge Intrepid, the same late model racers found on small speedways across the country on any Saturday night.

Hurley Haywood admits that the success of NASCAR is a template of sorts for making Grand Am racing more popular. “Everybody wants to duplicate what NASCAR is doing as far as making the cars very equal, and making the drivers of those cars into stars and household names . . . I think curiosity is gonna bring people out to a new facility. If you go back over the last 50 years, the core group in sports car racing has remained pretty much the same. It’s not the kind of sport that really is able to grow. There’s sort of a base group that follows sports car racing and that remains pretty much the same number from year to year. Where we’re having a problem right now is that there’s so much other stuff out there that the core group has got other things to do. So we’re trying, with the new Grand Am set of rules, to bring this group back to us with good kind of racing and interesting cars to watch. And drivers who people recognize. Unfortunately—or fortunately—I’m one of the few recognizable names in sports car racing that’s still racing. And that comes from the days when Camel cigarettes were supporting our sport and spending tons of money on the advertising side, and they really made me a star.”

Haywood predicts that despite slower speeds, the racing at Barber will be more exciting than at other road tracks. “The actual overall speed of the racetrack, what we do in a straight line, is a little slower than most tracks. Most tracks have longer straightaways. But this has basically four straightaways that you get up to a pretty good clip on, and I would imagine that the cars that we’re gonna be driving in May will go maybe 140 miles an hour tops . . . but that bunches the cars up [for close racing]. It’s an extremely busy racetrack. And I have not been on many racetracks that require the kind of absolute total concentration that this place does. If you have a little lapse of concentration, you’re off in the bushes. That’s how precise you have to be. With a lot of other tracks that have long straightaways, you get a little bit of time to rest and relax, but not so with Birmingham. You’re working your ass off every moment.” &

Several races are scheduled at the Barber Motorsports Park for the weekend of May 16 through 18. Call 967-4745 for details or visit www.barbermotorsports.com.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

 


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One of the original copies of the Declaration of Independence will be on display at the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute January 10 through 20.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” With those words, the foundation of American freedom was set in place three centuries ago. An original copy of the Declaration of Independence (owned by television producer Norman Lear) is currently on a three-and-a-half year journey across the United States, and will make a 10-day stop in Birmingham.

After two days of editing Thomas Jefferson’s text for the Declaration of Independence, the Second Continental Congress, led by John Hancock, approved a final draft of the document on July 4, 1776. That night a Philadelphia printer named John Dunlap printed approximately 200 “broadsides” of the document (a broadside is about the size of a full sheet of newspaper.) The next morning, one copy was entered into the Congressional Journal, while most of the remaining manuscripts were delivered to the colonies by couriers on horseback so the document could be read in town squares throughout the nation. Contrary to popular myth, Congress did not sign the Declaration of Independence on July 4. Instead, they waited for all 13 colonies to ratify it before signing on August 2.

In 1989, only 24 original Dunlap broadsides were known to exist until a flea market patron bought a framed painting for $4. While examining a tear in the painting, the purchaser discovered a Dunlap broadside behind the canvas.

The Declaration of Independence will be on display at the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute January 10 through 20. In addition to the document, the exhibit includes historical photographs and video of social and political movements throughout the nation’s history. There is also a 14-minute film hosted by Norman Lear and Rob Reiner. Call 328-9696 for more information. -Ed Reynolds

You Are Here

You Are Here


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A 1657 map from the Rucker Agee Collection shows Floride Francois (Georgia and South Carolina), and Floride Espanole (the Southeast).

Defining one’s place in the historical world has always been a natural preoccupation of the curious, particularly cartographers and explorers. During November and December, the Rucker Agee Collection of the Birmingham Public Library will offer the public a glimpse at such perceptions of the South’s geographical location in history with “Maps-1540 to Today, From the Collection of Rucker Agee.” Comprised of 60 Eastern hemisphere maps dating back to the 1500s, the exhibit chronicles the development of Birmingham and the Southeastern region. Included in the exhibit are an original woodblock map from 1540 detailing the Spanish discovery of America, and a 16th-century Swiss map featuring renderings of Caribbean islands where seafaring trade ships docked.

The Rucker Agee Collection has been at the library since 1955, and an endowment keeps the collection of almost 4,000 maps updated with the most current charts available. “It’s fascinating to watch how various peoples used the land-the French, the Spanish. Everybody sticks to the coast and then they move in on the inland rivers,” says Marjorie White, director of the Birmingham Historical Society.

“Holster maps,” carried by British troops during the Revolutionary War, will be on display along with land surveys that included the east and west coasts of Florida, possibly used to identify landing sites for British vessels. An 1818 chart of Alabama is featured as the first map of the state. (Alabama officially achieved statehood in 1819.) Included are lands for sale by the state as well as territory inhabited by Indian tribes. There is also an 1849 geological map by Irish geologist Michael Tuomey that was used in the mining of Alabama’s mineral resources, especially coal and iron. Ages and types of strata are included with river systems and towns. The future location of Birmingham appears on a bed of limestone between two huge coal deposits.

The exhibit runs from November 1 to December 31. A reception will be held Sunday, November 3, from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Call 226-3600 for details.

Vet On Wheels

Vet On Wheels


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For dogs and cats devastated by the anxiety of veterinarian waiting rooms, Dr. Vaughn Walker offers an option that resurrects a tradition long forgotten by the modern world: a doctor who makes house calls. “Seventy years ago that’s how veterinarians worked, going to homes,” says Dr. Walker, who started Comforts of Home Vet Care last April, one of only two licensed small animal mobile practices in the state.

“Lots of animals do better in their own environment. They’re usually calmer, more willing to be worked with,” explains Walker. “I pretty much handle the routine things: vaccinations, heartworm checks, check-ups-minor stuff. I’m not really equipped to handle emergencies. No general anesthesia, just mild sedation. I don’t put them totally under because that requires things such as oxygen and monitoring.”

Front porches, living room floors, and kitchen tables generally serve as examination areas. Pregnancy tests, gastrointestinal problems, ear infections, and the treatment of minor injuries are among the services offered. Walker occasionally sees exotic pets but most of those are difficult to treat. “I’ve seen a few sick lizards, and I do wing and beak trims on birds,” says the Doc.

Home vet care can be an indispensable asset for the elderly who can’t drive or have difficulty corralling an animal for the arduous trip to the vet. Most of the dogs Walker has seen have been large breeds, which can be difficult to squeeze into an automobile. Dr. Walker will even transport your pet to the clinic in his Jeep Cherokee (which he keeps stocked with iced-down vaccines) should the need arise. His fee for a house call is a flat $40, regardless of the number of animals to be examined. Any vaccinations, blood work, or other tests are additional costs.

Dr. Walker services Jefferson and north Shelby Counties from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Friday, and is affiliated with the Galleria Animal Clinic. He can be contacted at 907-4000. For pet emergencies, call Emergency Pet Care at 988-5988.

A Wizard’s Touch

A Wizard’s Touch


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The most prolific and despised weed known to mankind is Toxicodendron radicans, or poison ivy, a member of the cashew family. The plant’s oily resin is absolutely malevolent, an evil essence legendary for driving humans to the edge of madness. The toxic ingredient is urushiol, an element so potent that a drop the size of a pinhead is enough to affect 50 people. Eighteen years ago, pharmacist Roland Nelson, owner of Reynolds Drugs on Green Springs Highway, decided he’d had enough. He began swapping ideas with other chemists to combat the dreaded menace and one day conjured up a potion revered for its remarkable powers to soothe the torturous itch of poison ivy. (without the aid of prescription ingredients). “This is just something that intrigues me,” Nelson explains about his fascination with blending medicinal compounds. “Compounding has always been one of my loves. Mixing drugs and putting things together.”

Nelson calls his concoction Medi-Summer Gel. His customers call it “goat juice” or “Roland’s magic poison ivy medicine.” Whatever the label, Nelson’s reputation as a wizard is not unfounded. “When I can do something like this and my patients come back to me and say this works, I get a real good feeling out of it,” Nelson confesses. The pharmacist brews a new batch weekly in a lengthy five-hour process.

The blend is really not so mysterious. “It’s mostly over-the-counter,” Nelson says, revealing the secrets of his homemade tonic: “We put diphenhydramine in, and we put promazine in it for the itching. We put hydrocortisone in it and put it in a base. And when it dries, it forms a film over the poison ivy so it kind of protects it a little and keeps it from draining. And we put a little menthol and camphor in it to help stop the itching and to give it a cooling effect.” Nelson doesn’t hesitate to brag about the potency of his mystical ointment, though he envisions no pot of gold at the end of the alchemy rainbow. “It has worked really well. It’s not something that I go out and advertise in the magazines and all that. Basically, I do it for my customers.”